Thursday, December 27, 2007

ranting about polygamy

polygamy was successfully practiced world wide mainly for agricultural reasons. some other reasons were, to increase the chance of a surviving heir, economic and some other reasons mentioned by other commenter's.

my view
while not an advocate or supporter of polygamy, i strongly resent the hypocrisy of the west against polygamy.

at a lavish graduation party of three children of a prominent yoruba king last year seated with some oyinbo and Caribbean friends who had a field day expressing their shock and disgust about the acceptance of the practice, the kicker was the presence of another yoruba monarch with his three radiantly happy oloris wearing the same attire(one of them happens to be a friend of my mom)
anyhow,i held my tongue for as long as i could, but they were relentless!
u see there's a reason for my madness, here's a woman(the Caribbean) who's "baby father" is also baby father to two other women(that we know of)and from the looks of it, is still getting benefits from his baby mamas,the oyinbo girl is thrice divorced and now shacking with another dude, the other even tho he's male and married has never said anything positive about his marriage or his wife (he sees nothing wrong in being a"john")
so, i asked each one of them how what they are practicing is different from polygamy? or how it's better?
my African American friends had long ago accepted that the baby mama and baby daddy lifestyle rampant within their community is indeed a form of polygamy.

my point?
(i do have one)
i agree that ,the practice is outdated and no longer relevant for today, however, we need to understand that it served a purpose and is a foundation for today's monogamous marriages.
from my conversations with two women i have the utmost respect for who are in polygamous marriages, i gathered, that being strong, career driven and opinionated are detrimental to a naija woman's chance of finding a husband, because society dictates that men are superior and thereby need to have a woman that can reinforce this(that defies logic no be small! i would expect they would feel manly sparing with a bright and articulate mind)
after marrying their "ideal woman" and not finding the companionship/fulfilment/challenge that they crave, resort to playing around or polygamy to satisfy the crave.

one of the women insists it's a way for women to have their cake and eat it too.(not sure i subscribe) but i can plainly see that she's independent and in control of her life and she's truly happy even tho it's with a quarter of a husband (my opinion) maybe that's all that's needed.

the bottom line is we should appreciate and embrace our heritage and let it evolve to meet the needs of the present rather than accept the west's definition as the ideal (please! u don't want me going there!)

this was a comment i left on a post about polygamy on solomosydelle,s blog

Monday, December 24, 2007

Christmas romantic?

Christmas has always been very a festive season as far back as i can remember, but never ever been romantic.

since becoming an adult,i basically just go thru the motion of the season, not quite sure if it's the fact that i know it's unlikely to be the actual birth month of Jesus or it's proximity to the end of the year,or the commercialization of the season itself, it all just make me reflective and very melancholic.

but this year is very different, my1 and i went to all the usual Christmas/holiday parties just like last year but this year, i felt at home in the company of his friends and coworkers, i didn't get irritated to be part of a couple. i actually caught his bug (he loves Christmas, he insists it's a more romantic season than valentine) as we danced at the various parties he pointed out the love and romance in all the songs that i never paid any attention to before.

songs like mariah Carey's version of "all i want for Christmas is u" or boyz2men's "let it snow" or "it won't be christmas without u" or "i miss u most on Christmas time" or my favorite, CB's "this Christmas"

it was especially cute when he called one night during a snow storm singing "i don't care what the weather maybe, as long as u're here with me..
and when i asked what he wanted for Christmas, he broke into a song " babe, all i want for Christmas is uuuuuuu...

for the first time i helped him shop for gifts for his co workers, we decorated his house and mine together we even put up a tree! even tho i still don't get the significance of it.( it was fun putting the mistletoe to the test.. lol)

what is the problem?
the truth is, a couple of years ago i would have considered all these mushy and corny, the fact that i find them romantic now makes me wonder if im getting mellow in my old age o

i wish each and every one of u a merry Christmas may u all enjoy the beauty and romance of the season of the birth of our lord and savior

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Still on my little man

he was out cold!(am that good! lol)
the only times he moved during the night was whenever i moved his foot away from my thigh.(he was fine as long as one foot was in contact with me)
i eventually gave in and let him have his way.

he must be a early riser, cos i was roused out of my sleep at about 7:30 by muffled voices; momsie trying to persuade him to let her give him a bath(he wanted auntie Sherri to do it)i swiftly threw the cover over my head and burrowed deeper into my warm bed...(auntie sherri ko, uncle sherri ni)

i was woken about two hours later by momsie, apparently, he let her give him a bath and dress him but refused to eat breakfast unless i made it.
momsie was afraid he was going to starve first reaction was "ebi ni o pa yeye"
(meaning: he'll eat when he gets hungry enough)
by now he was in my room too,on my bed with his arms around my neck hugging me to death.
him: i want you to make me breakfast!
him:cos i want u to?
me:what's wrong with momsie?
him:nothing, i love you! (aw www)

before u could say jack rabbit! i was downstairs in the kitchen whipping up my world famous pancakes and sausages and eggs.

after polishing off 3 servings, he proudly announced "that was the best pancakes in the whole wide world!" thanks auntie Sherri!(of course, am grinning)

as we danced around the kitchen, (doing the victory dance) mr "my one" walks in(no, i wasn't expecting him o)
out of habit,he gives me a kiss (just the quick brush on the lips kind)we both glanced at the dude who was staring at us now, i make quick intro("my one", meet "my sugar lumps,love of my life, honey pie...")they give each other curious looks.

m1:where's momsie?
me: she's on the phone,?
m1:is she ready?
me: for wetin?
m1:she going to sista roli's
me:why are the one taking her?
m1:bro tj is working
me:wait a minute! she's supposed to be babysitting..( i stormed off in search of the agba babysitter)

i came back down to find my men duking it out on my Nintendo wii(cute)
so i joined them o,
as we played,my little dude, out of the blue asked,

auntie Sherri,can i sleep with u again tonight?
before i could answer, (my1 with an incredulous look on his face)
my1:u slept with my woman?! dude, u have some serious game o, care to share ur secret? i 'll pay top dollars.. (agbaya)

the poor boy didn't know what to say!lol

i left them to their game for my office/library in the basement,little dude comes running down,
him:uncle my1 wants u
me:(not feeling like going back up)tell him i want him u too
him:(halfway up the stairs, at the top of his lungs) auntie Sherri said, she wants u too!
momsie:awon agbaya meji! e sa ma diti omolomo

he came back down, he immediately asked if he can play with the package of golf balls i had on my desk, i told him they were not mine and to ask uncle my1 if he can play with them,
again, he went halfway up the stairs and yelled,
"uncle my1, can i play with ur balls? "(of course, i was on the floor laughing)

either momsie didn't get it, or she chose to ignore us cos she didn't say a word.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

finally! man in my bed!

it's not what u think o

momsie agreed to babysit my cousin's 5yr old son for the weekend knowing fully well of my reservations.
so, i came home friday night to find the cute as a button dude whom i haven't seen since he was in diapers even tho i speak to him regularly on the phone .

as i walked in the door, he rushed to hug me (did i not read someplace that boys didn't display affection?)

before i could take my coat off, he insisted on showing me all the drawings and writings he had done with momsie, the dude wanted me to watch him draw all kind of funny looking figurines including one of me walking on stilts and carrying a suitcase on her wrist . lol

from the drawing we moved to the living room where he asked me all manner of questions about anything and everything!

him: how come u live all alone in this big house?

me: i like living alone


me: i just do

him: how come u don't have any kids?

me: cos I'm not married (wrong answer!)

him: my mom's not married and she has a kid!

me: i know, emm emm.. here's a nice show! i will be right back

i quickly dashed up the stairs to my room.

later, i asked momsie when his bedtime was, she didn't know, will he be ok sleeping alone in the spare bedroom? (his mom didn't write down any instructions?)

momsie said we'll know when he's tired and if he can't sleep alone he can sleep with her (okay!)

eleven o clock came, momsie was fast asleep on the couch and the dude in his spiderman pajamas showed no sign of tiredness!

i announced it was bedtime, woke momsie up and we all went up the stairs, i put dude in the spare bedroom with the nitelight on and door open.

as i made to leave, he declared "we didn't pray! so we prayed o (the boy can pray!)

"father God, thank u for my mommy, my daddy, me, my auntie sherri, grandma and grandpa, mrs goldstein, all the poor children of the world, give us rest as we sleep thru the nite. in Jezuz name! amen" ( we hugged, and kissed goodnight)

i gingerly made my nightly cup of herb tea, ready to snuggled in bed with a book with the tv on as usual, my phone rings, it's oyin trying to get me to change my mind about going to some party that night ( after partying 2 nights back to back last weekend for my bday, i was looking forward to a weekend of vegging and nothing was going to change that)

as i finally i cozy up with my book and tv, dude bounded into my room asking " can i sleep with u? pleassssse?" (which kin wahala be this?)

within a matter of five minutes, dude was fast asleep!(thank God)

Monday, December 10, 2007

my feelings exactly

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful,
independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as
she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an
unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said, "Elegant
lady, I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch cast
a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn
back into the dapper, young Prince that I am, and then my
sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in my castle
with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my
clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and
happy doing so."

That night, on a meal of lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned
in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to
herself and thought, "I don't think so!"

Monday, December 3, 2007

7 weird things about me

as much as i absolutely detest tagging, chain letters and the likes, however, i will indulge Laspapi. (he tagged me)

here goes:

i} am appalled and yet intrigued by women who use their sexuality/sensuality to get what they want

ii} i have no phobias. my friends say am fearless (not a daredevil tho)

iii} i have zero patience/tolerance for incompetence and yet i often sympathise with the ignorant
iv} i relish spending time alone (preferably with a good book)
yes, i'm the weido u see at parties and gatherings with her nose in a book, after losing many books to unlawful seizures i now resort to going to the car to read when i get bored.

v} i cannot and will not use an unclean bathroom (i have held it for a whole day on numerous occasions) i just simply cannot go!

vi} people often mistake my being reserved as being aloof or arrogant

vii} i love to do the opposite of given instructions (never again in physics lab tho) lol

in the spirit of defiance and nonconformity i one

Friday, November 23, 2007

o happy day!

Happy buffday to me!
gonna party like it's 1999!!

Monday, November 12, 2007

The eagle has landed

Just randomly gisting my mum about the party planner from hell (u know who u are)
who has been tirelessly planning my bday party with such gusto!(who send me?)na so we finished gisting, hang up, end of tori?
two days later, mom calls to informed me she was coming! (who send am invitation?)
i tried to dissuade her,(weather, too busy,gets dark earlier...)she no gree
she insisted she wants to be with me (her baby) for my bday(since when?)

amid the madness, i managed to have the house cleaned and momproofed,stocked up on her fav fruits and veggies..
it's been two days and my once tranquil and peaceful home has been bursling non stop!
naija people calling at odd hours(they don't know time diff?)

the funny part is mom won't pick up the phone, (yes o, u guessed it)i get to speak to everybody and their mother..
every conversation ends with: igba wo lo ma marry? (when are u getting married)
most of the time, i just hand the phone to mom.
and every time she gives the same answer "eh, o ma ko ko marry o"(she refused to get married) lol

Anyhos, the real gist is her conversations with her friends.(prereq: understanding yoruba)
it's real hilarious hearing the old folks talking about sex (yes o, they do)

when she asked one friend about a certain man,she replied" a ma jo yun rawa lehin ni o, eyin de ti hurun o, iyari logbeni nwa ka. ore, oyinbo nse kan! yehin yehin orisirisi ma kun oja. lalai foju fena.

they also gisted about another lady married to some rich man and was having her bush trimmed and whacked by the gardener in the uk(feel free to draw ur own conclusion)

and then there was the judge who was benching prosecutor o, defense counsel o. plaintiff o, gbogbo won awo po.(contempt in court)

on another note:
i pray God delivers me from this planner from hell.
have u heard of a celebrant not having any say about the guests to her own throwdown?

i have tried everything, and now, i resort to begging and grovelling:
abeg ur royal prettiness and ubber fabulousness, i ur humble subject begs u, implore u(dico is on fire!) please don't cause katakata o,
please don't and if u have, please disinvite golden boy o
i know how u pride ur self as a classy babe (that is def not classy,rather cheesy and downright low) may i add mean and wicked ala ursula?

Friday, November 2, 2007

not quite

even though i was relieved now that the mystery of the stalker was over, i still have to figure what to say to the dude.
i read the card again, "please return my call" which call? another mystery which i decided to solve later. i have tons of work to do.
i called my girls with the update as i tackled my day.
just before lunch, my phone buzzed, it's him!
him:hi, i,ve been expecting ur call
me: im fine thanks for asking, how are u?
him:(silence, a short laugh)u're good!
him:how was ur weekend?
me: good and yours?
him:it would have been nicer if u called, i thought we hit it off on friday..
me:thanks for the drinks i had a good time
him:just go easy on the virgin cosmo next time, i hear they can be deadly(laughing softly)
me: real funny!(smiling)
him:my office' s only two blocks from urs, how about lunch?
me:sorry, I'm booked for lunch
me: oh, thanks for the chocolates
him:u got them?
me: duh!(roll eyes)
me:sorry, i could n't help it (grinning)
him:how about dinner tonight?
me:tonight? u realize it's monday right?
him?u don't eat dinner on monday nights?
me:funny, what time 's dinner?
him: how's 7, too early?
me: (remembering it's pizza nite with the two teenage girls i mentor)let's make it another time, i have something to do tonite
him:ok. can i call u later?
him:good, later.
me: bye

we both hang up just as i realize he only has my office#, oh well!

I suffered thru lunch with my bosses, shuffled some more papers before heading home. ..
as we played basketball, i couldn't help observing how much more developed and curvaceous the group of 15 and 16 year olds were, more than most of the girls my age even.(another topic for another day)
after the game, the girls decided they wanted dim sum instead of the usual pizza, me being the finicky eater,decided to take them to my favorite joint..( a little out of my way but def worth the trip)
anyway, the girls were more impressed with the ambiance of the place than they were with the dim sum (go figure)
we eat, have our usual chat: academics, home, teen dramatics ..
as always, we lost track of time.
as we got ready to leave the table , my cell phone rings, i quickly turn it off without even looking at the caller(am i the only one who think that the cell phone is the most obnoxious intrusion known to mankind?)i apologise and we finished our chat.
after dropping off each girl, i drove into the parking lot of a nearby convenience store, as i packed, another car pulls up and my phone vibrates, i rummaged thru my bag for it finally finding it still lit, i pick it up to hear a familiar male voice asking me to look to my right, i look, it's him!(my heart races, omg! mo daran! he's a stalker after all!)
he walks over to my side.

me:i thought u lived in the city?
him:nice to see u too (smiling)
me:oh, hi
him:so u chose to have dinner with 2 girls instead of me?
him:i watched u guys walk in and i waited and watched u the entire time
me:are u serious?
him:i called, i saw u turn the phone off...
me:wait a minute, i didn't give u my cell phone# how did u get it?
him:it's on ur business card
me:wow! where did u get that from?
him:(grinning) i stole it..
him:from the Princeton club.. the first time we met...
me:u have been stalking me since ?
him:no!... i live in this town.i didn't believe it was u when u walked in with those 2 girls at the same time i was picking up my dinner, cos u fouled up my dinner plans. remember?
me:hm mm (slowly exhaling)
him:i thought u lived in the city?
me: nah!
him:what town?
me:u mean where I'll be moving to?
him:(laughing) seriously, I'm not stalking u
me:ok. wareva

we chatted a little more, made plans to have a proper dinner date two days later before bidding each other goodnight..

from this experience, i have learned to pay more attention to places and my surroundings..

Thursday, October 11, 2007


wouldn't you believe it!
exactly a week later, i got another bouquet of flowers with a card saying "can't get u off my mind" along with a fone#
so i picked up the phone and called udu who's now back from her trip(she was quite miffed she missed the previous drama and my not calling her)

me:i just got another one o
udu: another what?
me: delivery now
udu:hmm, are u sure it's not golden boy? (mr i don't eat mede mede)
me: why would he use a diff name?
udu:are u spooked again?
me:are u kidding?
udu:abeg no worri jo. abeg o me i want the dinner wey u owe me today today o
me:wareva, u have any place in mind?
udu:o tun nna, (u 're still haggling) see u later.

the dinner with udu was a sharp contrast to my dinner with oyin exactly a week ago.
she regaled me with juicy details of her trip.(wish i could post about it,i know she will kill me for sure. lol)
she reeled out fabu after fabu thru out the night(yes o she 's the fabulaxer in my hair)the people at the next table told the waiter they wanted whatever we were having..
after dinner, she informed me she was sleeping over at my house to catch up on gist despite the fact that it was a week night and we both had to work the next day. i happily agreed knowing sleeping was not in the equation.
after gisting all night we concluded, no, udu reasoned there was no reason to be afraid, she said (like she would know)stalkers do not set out to harm their victims, they end up harming them only when the victims don't use common sense, it sounded good as illogical as it was.
so we agreed i would call him and stay friendly at a distance.
i didn't get a chance to call him the next day cos of an emergency at work, so i kept putting it off mainly cos i had no idea what to say.

after a whirlwind of a week, that friday night a group of us decided to meet for dinner after work to celebrate at a well known watering hole. amid the merriment,a familiar dude approached our table, i quickly remembered meeting him at the Princeton Club a couple of weeks ago, he came over to say hello, one oyinbo chic hugged him rather tightly to our amusement, he made as if to hug me so i politely shook his hand.we made small talk about the event and as he was leaving he handed me his card which i tucked into my bag.

after dinner,as we were leaving he came over to ask if i can join him for a drink, i tried to feign tiredness but my colleagues edged me on telling him i was Cinderella as i don't stay out past midnight, so i agreed to have a drink even tho i don't drink.
as it turned out i had a fab time with him. i was just bummed he didn't ask for my digits as we bade each other goodnite..

he waltzed across my mind a couple of times all weekend.. i mentioned this to my girls (big mistake!)they all chorused: why u got to wait for him to ask for ur digit?
u should have given it to him jo, dudes want u to show some interest too...yada yada (roll eyes, hiss, more hiss)so i decided not to tell them i have his card.i know udu would def have put a knife to my neck to call him.

i arrived at the office monday morning to find another delivery, this time not flowers, a box of Godiva chocolates with a mylar balloon. anyone who know me,would tell you, i love good chocolate, i will do anything, well, almost anything for a good piece of chocolate.
curiously i opened the card, it read:thanks for the best evening of my life.
please return my call. my heart sank. it's from the nutso i had yet to call..
just then my oyinbo colleague(the overhugger)walked into my office and started talking about friday night,how she used to work with him and really likes him(i'm thinking: she's got jungle fever!!) she wanted every detail of my drink with--- she said his name, the name of the nutso!
turns out that, the oyinbo dude who introduced us at the Princeton club butchered his name so badly it became another name..

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

the delivery was perplexing cos i am known to have excellent memory,actually short of being photographic my memory power should be rated really high...
so u can understand why it was troubling not remembering going on a date with this person,also as i have not been on date in over two months.(it was more like an interview for domestic help than a, incidentally,he too sent flowers the next day apologising for his behavior and some crap about giving him a chance b4 writing him off. yada yada yada....)
the more i racked my brains for who it could be the more freakier it became, someone knows my full name, my office, what else do they know?
amid the ohhs and aahs of how gorgeous the arrangement was, i was contemplating tossing them in the nearest bin as my paranoia peaked..
i was finally able to settle down and actually get some work done and put the "delivery" on the back burner. that is until the end of the day.
my dinner with oyin didn't help matters at all. to say the girl has an active mind will be putting it really mildly, the girl is nuts!
she conjured up all kinds of wild and crazy scenarios, nothing with any semblance to love or romance. by the end of dinner she had me wound up so tight, my head was spinning. u should have heard her, "i knew it!this ur mouth eh? u had to tell it like it is! miss independent!(shake head,roll eyes...)
i had to keep grabbing the table to keep me from reaching across and strangling her.
once I'd had enough i thanked her for her kind support and made my way home.(she later called and offered to spend the night with me, me: no thanks! )
i went home,relaxed, prayed, and activated my alarm system for the first time in months before settling in for the night.

by the next day i was more at peace and have conclude it must be a prank. so i was completely caught off guard when a call came thru my line, picked up the phone, it was the person who sent the flowers asking when and where to pick me up! omg! i must have sounded really dense, cos i said ' i don't remember going on a date with u cos i have no idea who u are! he found it rather amusing, cos he asked if had been speed dating,me: ?
him:u must go on lots of dates to not remember them all?
me:? (getting annoyed)listen, i have no time for this.
he then went on to describe the first date:we had a beautiful meal in classy place, we looked into each other's eyes all night, we briefly held each other's hands, intellectual convo was flowing, a very nice evening except u didn't let me kiss u goodnight. remember now?
me:i would!if it happened!
now I'm thinking he's a psycho and i better find a way to get rid of him without incident. how about that date?
me:my schedule is rather tight right now.oh, thanks for the flowers, they were beautiful.
him:the brush off eh?
me:not at all. take care.
click. whew!

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

"my one"

where do i start?
from the very first sighting i guess.
we sat at the same table at a business roundtable event at the princeton club a few moons ago....
there were no fireworks nor sparks at least not on my part,he claims the angels were singing.. too bad i didn't notice.
these events are usually male dominated and can be really boring so u can understand my aversion to them and whenever i attend, it's with a great deal of apathy.
anyway, i was seated at a table with 2 other gals and five guys including him.
at the end of the event,the guys invited us gals for drinks to which i declined and quickly made my escape.
u can imagine my suprise when two days later a bouquet of flowers was delivered to my office asking me for a second date from a name i don't have any recollection of.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

when life puts u in a box

When life (i prefer society) put u in a box, what to do?

a) redesign and redecorate?
b) make it comfortable and homely?
c) fight like hell?
d) have a pity party?
e) install wheels?
f) install wings? (aerodynamics)remember this when some one says to u: "u have grown wings"
g)do nothing?
h)demand for a bigger box?
g)turn it into a prison?
i)pretend it's five star hotel room and society is room service?
j)break down the damn box? (possibly with ur bare hands)
k)install a lock or the best security device?
j)be a sister to the girl in the next box?
l)use what your mama gave you? (the one encased in your cranium)
m)use what your mama gave you? (the one between your legs)


i am aware that this can apply to men too, to an extent.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

are women their own worst enemies?

I was blessed to be raised by a "mother" who instilled strenght and character in my sisters and i despite the labels she had to live thru.(she let us speak our minds even as children and that was not popular at the time in Naija culture)
i had to give a little glimpse into my childhood before i unleash my insanity on the world..
when i was much younger, there were instances when i had witnessed or heard of a female being ill treated or abused i got very angry at the female for allowing the particular incident remain very vivid to me.
i came home to find my sister in law beaten black and blue. here's the conversation:

me: kilo sele? ( what happened here?)

her: sisi kalifonia! sisi sisi kalifonia! (crying){ she can't call me by my given name in the naija culture}

me:stop crying and tell me what happened.

her: iya ti je mi o... mo ti gbe o(i have suffered...)

me :kilo sele, who did this to u?

her:egbon yin ni, egbon yin ni o (still crying)

me: e pele, please stop crying...(i help her up )
where's my broda?(me assuming they had to rush him to luth or some other hospital)
her:he has gone out.

me:is he okay? (i was afraid he was seriously hurt)

her:eni to gbe soyoyo lati wa okay(apparently she got the beating because she wanted to know what the soyoyo was doing in his car)

me: soyoyo in lagos ? should i call mr olaiya for help ?( panicking) {i assumed my mum was not home since her car was not in the driveway}

her:(looking at me strange) help for wetin?

me: the soyoyo now!!

her: (bursting into laughter) your mum is home

me: (rushing to my mum's side of the house, she looked like she had been crying too)mum, what are you doing here and not trying to help broda with the Soyoyo people?

mum:ni suru sista primate! your broda does not need any help,soyoyo gan lo need help

me:(confused) kile mean?(mum and sista in law now laughing hard)

then my mum explained that "soyoyo" was a bleached woman and not the oloro masqurade.
just then my broda walked in looking spic span without a scratch on him.

i was livid, i turned to my sister in law
me: u should be ashamed look at him! he doesnt even have a scracth on him!
are your hands broken? what kind of a woman are you? eni to ye kigbobi ko.

soyoyo nbo

looking back now i know that i was lashing out at the wrong person and was adding insult to injury, but i can' t but wonder why some women put up with that kind of crap