women of the world

Female Feticide in North America?

2012-01-16T12:18:00.000-08:00

Please read.

Canada urged to conceal fetal sex over abortion fears

Sanusi looks to Asia for Nigerian borrowing

2012-01-10T06:46:00.000-08:00

Nigerian central bank governor Lamido Sanusi believes the likelihood of European banks going into a major crisis is quite high, and is concerned over the impact on Nigerian oil exports.

Sanusi looks to Asia for Nigerian borrowing

Speaking at a central banking and financial sector development conference hosted by Bank Negara Malaysia in November, Sanusi said: “We are concerned because we sell our oil to Europe and America, and any major slowdown is likely to lead to softness in the oil market, which would affect government revenues. The only thing that is different is that [Nigerian] banks are better prepared than they were in 2008 as we have recapitalized them and cleaned up their books.”

Although financially-troubled eurozone countries—Greece, Portugal and Ireland—are not big enough to bring down European banks, with an estimated 1.8 trillion euros in debt, Sanusi said Italy is a bigger problem, as is Spain. By the central banker’s own estimation, Europe needs 2 trillion euros to fix Italy and Spain, which he estimates is more than two-thirds of the total tax revenues of Germany.

The crisis in Europe is forcing Nigeria to look further afield for borrowing. Increasingly, Sanusi sees his country’s fortunes tied to Asia. Following the 2008 banking crisis, the central bank modeled its response on that of Asian central banks, such as Bank Negara Malaysia. It also sees Malaysia as the obvious choice for issuing a sukuk toward the end of 2012. Although the final decision on a sovereign sukuk rests with Nigeria’s finance ministry, Sanusi said the CB is playing a facilitating role. A sukuk could attract interest from Asian and European investors, and proceeds could be used to finance infrastructure projects in Nigeria. With a Muslim population of more than 80 million, Nigeria could become an Islamic finance hub in Africa, according to Sanusi.

Having converted 10% of Nigeria’s foreign exchange reserves to renminbi, Sanusi also hopes to draw upon the growing market for offshore renminbi borrowing. “It is important to look to Asia, in the short term at least, as one likely source of borrowing,” he said.

Global Finance magazine : http://www.gfmag.com/subscribe.html

which way naija?

2012-01-06T10:09:00.000-08:00

Celebrate!

2011-03-08T13:12:00.001-08:00

Join women around the World to celebrate 100 years of International Women's Day.

Please visit: care.org/iwd for events

who's afraid to fail?

2010-07-26T13:30:00.000-07:00

At the age of seven, a young boy and his family were forced out of their home. The boy had to work to support his family. At the age of nine, his mother passed away. When he grew up, the young man was keen to go to law school, but had no prior formal education.

At 22, he lost his job as a store clerk. At 23, he ran for state legislature and lost. That same year he went into business.
It failed, leaving him with a debt that took him 17 years to repay.
At 27, he had a nervous breakdown.
Two years later, he ran for speaker in his state legislature. He lost.
At 31, he was defeated in his attempt to become an elector.
By 35, he had been defeated twice while running for Congress.
Finally, he did manage to secure a brief term in Congress, but at 39 he lost his re-election bid.

At 41, his four-year-old son died. At 42, he was rejected as a prospective land officer.
At 45, he ran for the Senate and lost. Two years later, he lost the vice presidential nomination. At 49, he ran for Senate and lost again.

At 51, he was elected the President of the United States of America.

Thus was the life of Abraham Lincoln.

Excerpted from the Executive Report.

It's INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY!

2010-03-08T14:41:00.000-08:00

Be all the woman you can be

I miss the good old days!

2010-02-05T14:35:00.000-08:00

Happy 2010 blogpeeps!

I miss the good old days!
does anyone remember the good old days? of rants and raves and thought provoking post, of virtual friendships that seemed real, of shamelessly falling in love with blogpersonas, of sisterhood bonds that inspired, stimulated and raised our collective consciousness.

anyone remember my girls, Belle, Zephi, shola pacheco, soupasexy, anyaposh, smarragad, ms. emotions, princessa, isi, allied, nikkisab, the afrobeat, paradigm, honeywell, miss pumping, omosewa, oluwadee,guerienenaija, ndq, xena, darkelce, nyemoni and afroliciuos? (did i miss anyone?)
i know 30+, 36,fq and solo are still blogging and pinksatin makes sporadic postings here and there. all am saying is, the state of the sisterhood has changed. what did u say? i have changed? of course! don't be ridiculous! am older, not any wiser and more opinionated than ever!

even the brodas are not blogging like before! Naapali just hopped and left, no sighting of bro nimmo, carl is on a cruise, charizard hitched his wag with burracup, rumor is swirling that jinta skipped town with some chick..., laspapi? he's sorta blogging i think! like i said the landscape of blogville has changed.

goodnaijagirl, did u think i forgot about u? never babe! big ups for holding down blogeria. u are so lovable!

greetings to all u newbies, and not so newbies,

Bellebellebelle, where fore art thou? still missing u babe!
mizopekemizopekemizopeke please come back oh. luv ya!
Jinta Jinta Jinta please come back, i miss u!luv ya!

THINKING OF YOU ALL DURING THIS SEASON

2009-12-14T07:53:00.000-08:00

Sometimes we just need to be reminded!

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill.
In the room of 200, he asked,
'Who would like this $20 bill?' Hands started going
up. He said, 'I am
going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this. He
proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill. He then asked,
'Who still wants it?' Still the hands were up in the air. Well, he
replied, 'What if I do this?' And he dropped it on the ground and
started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.
He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.
Now, who still wants it?'Still the hands went into the air.
My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson.
No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because
it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.
Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and
ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the
circumstances that come our way.
We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has
happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.
Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless
to those who DO LOVE you.
The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know,
but by WHO WE ARE and WHOSE WE ARE. You are special
Don't EVER forget it.

Have u seen it?

2009-07-14T13:39:00.000-07:00

my blogmojo that is!

how una dey my blogpeeps?
i sure hope you're all doing fantabulous.

the foto? is a friend's wedding cake topper. do i need to mention she's not nigerian? lol!

just visualize the expression on a nigerian parents's face as they see the cake topper for the first time at the wedding! specifically the mother! priceless?

GNG, sweetie! happy belated bday to you and your mom. (any cake left?)
LG, Happy bday! how bodi? i still love u jare!
Laspapi, Happy bday dude!
Happy bday to all you July babies.

Miz opeke, abeg sweetie come back o, love u lotsssssssssssssss.

what's new in blogville?

off to make the rounds............

The best living will ever!

2009-04-24T13:17:00.000-07:00

I, (your name here), being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass 7th grade biology if their lives depended on it, nor lawyers and/or doctors interested in simply running up my bills.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

Glass of wine
Chocolate
Margarita
Martini
Cold Beer
Chocolate
Chicken fried steak
Cream gravy
Mexican food
Chocolate
French fries
Chocolate
Pizza
Sex
Ice cream
Cup of tea
Chocolate
Chocolate
Chocolate

It should be presumed I won't ever get better. When such determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and any attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, let the "fat lady sing, and call it a day!

Have a drink. It's 5 o'clock SOMEWHERE!

Life lessons

2009-03-24T09:15:00.000-07:00

Written by ANDY ROONEY, a man who has the gift of saying so much with so few words!
I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows.
I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.
I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right.
I've learned.... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
I've learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I've learned.... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for. I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class.
I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I've learned.... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
I've learned.... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
I've learned.... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
I've learned.... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
I've learned.... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
I've learned.... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere. I've learned.... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
I've learned.... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
I've learned.... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

Happy Friends's week.

2009-03-02T08:40:00.000-08:00

Thanks guys for checking up on me. Hope you're all doing well.
I hope to be back shortly, work and life got a lot hectic! and, am grappling with some unexpected turns and curves in the road.

may you all find kindness in unexpected places.

two wolves

2009-01-09T09:55:00.000-08:00

Two Wolves
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: 'Which wolf wins?'

The old Cherokee simply replied, 'The one you feed.'

P.S.:Wishing u all a blessed 2009!

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-24T21:20:00.000-08:00

If i could,
i would visit each and everyone you to wish you the very best of this beautiful season.
i would wrap my arms around you and hug each and everyone of you real tight.
i would give you the perfect gift, say the words to mend your broken heart
i would sit with you,hold your hand and chill with you
i would bring you that special someone who's worthy of your time and you
i would grant you the love that sustains,
give you the peace you seek
give you joy that endures
give you the closure you desire
give you the healing that liberates
give you the rest you need
give you the new beginning you want...
give you the perfect gift

i could,
offer you the perfect gift! of the everlasting one, the prince of peace, the bright morning star. the one who is all the above and more. the reason for the season.
friends, i give you JESUS.

will you accept Him?

Merry Christmas everyone!

Congraduations to Zephi!!

2008-12-15T20:42:00.000-08:00

Congrats to the newest Engineer in the house!
the one and only Zephi-Fareiheit!

I wish you enduring success and everlasting joy.
May you be blessed in ALL that you lay your hands to do (cough)
May the grace and goodness of God be with you always.
May you never forget how precious you are.

from:joke a day

2008-12-10T08:00:00.000-08:00

It Happened Like This,...

The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words.

I had been driving for 40 years when I feel asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run so I ran over him.

I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentlemen as he bounced off the hood of my car.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck my front end.

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T09:47:00.000-08:00

I have a lot to be thankful for.
here's just a few:

I am very Thankful:
for knowing and loving God and to be known and loved by Him
for Life as i know it
for Love
good Health
simple abundance
joy i can't explain
another bday
my last year in my twenties
my amazing mom and dad
my gorgeous and wondeful sister(am getting paid for this one!)
my broda(beebee)
my Family (long and short)
my awesome friends (virtual and real)including u too madam gbegele!
the clearing Haze
my girl Abi, who's just completed her rounds of chemo. yeah!
the little things,the in-between, the big things, and the stupendous
the one who declared he was "the one"
my new life ahead

I wish you ALL a Wonderful Thanksgiving day

that's a star!

2008-11-12T19:00:00.000-08:00

Nujood Ali and her lawyer Shada Nasser @ Glamour magazine's star studded awards ceremony held Monday night at Carnegie Hall.

the effervescent 10 year old clearly stole the night and everyone's hearts in a room filled to the brim with celebrities like Hillary Clinton, Condy Rice,Annie Lennox, Nicole Kidman, Fergie,Tyra Banks, Mel B and her new hubby.
Katie Couric presented her with the Woman of the year award which she shares with Hillary Clinton and Nicole Kidman amid loud cheers and tears.

read about her here

The little girl was waist-high, so small that the lawyers, clerks and judges hurrying through the courthouse in Sana’a, Yemen, almost missed her.

As lunchtime arrived and the crowds of noisy men and women cleared away, a curious judge asked her what she was doing sitting alone on a bench.

“I came to get a divorce,” 10-year-old Nujood Ali told the jurist.
Her impoverished parents had married her off to a man more than three times her age, who beat her and forced her to have sex, she explained.

When she told her father and mother that she wanted out of the marriage, they refused to help. So an aunt provided her with bus money to travel to court and seek a divorce.

Within days of that April 2 encounter, Nujood’s tale and the plight of child brides in Yemen made international headlines.

And thanks to the efforts of human rights lawyer Shada Nasser, who took up her cause, the girl at the centre of the story has begun to overcome her trauma and dream of a better life.

Yemeni law sets the age of consent at 15. But tribal customs and interpretations of Islam often trump the law in the country of 23 million.

A 2006 study conducted by Sanaa University reported that 52 per cent of girls were married by age 18.

Publicity surrounding Nujood’s case prompted calls to raise the legal age for marriage to 18 for both men and women.

Yemen’s conservative lawmakers refused to take up her case but it sparked public discussion and newspaper headlines.

Several more child brides came forward, including a girl who sought a divorce in the southern Yemeni city of Ibb recently.
“This case opened the door,” Nasser said.

Nujood says that at first she felt ashamed about what had happened to her. “But I passed through that,” she said, eyes narrowing in her black headscarf.

“All I want now is to finish my education,” she added, her mouth curling into a smile. “I want to be a lawyer.”

Nujood’s unemployed father, Ali Mohammad Ahdal, has two wives and 16 children. He is among the many tribal Yemenis who migrated to the capital over the last decades looking for work. Instead, he found misery.

In February, Ahdal arranged to have Nujood married to Faez Ali Thamer, motorcycle deliveryman in his thirties from his native province, Hajja.

Protector turns persecutor

Nujood’s parents said they were trying to do what was best for their daughter and didn’t even receive a dowry, a claim many Yemenis don’t believe.

The parents say the groom had promised he wouldn’t have sex with her until she reached puberty.

“We asked him to raise her,” said Shu’aieh, the girl’s mother.
The groom has disputed that claim.

Ahdal, in his mid-forties, said he wanted Nujood to avoid the fate of two of his older sisters. One was kidnapped by a rival clan and another ended up in jail for trying to protect her, an example of the murky inter-tribal disputes that bedevil Yemen.

“I was trying to protect her,” Ahdal said during an interview inside his family’s two-room flat on the outskirts of Sana’a.
Nujood looked forward to getting married, not understanding what it really meant.

Besides being a pre-adolescent bride, she is a fairly typical little girl. She likes playing hide-and-seek and tug-of-war with her friends and siblings.

Her favourite colours are red and yellow, she said, and her favourite flavours are chocolate and coconut. She loves dogs and cats and dreams of being a turtle so she could swim in the sea. “I’ve never seen the sea,” she says.

About 40 people attended the wedding in the village of Wadi La’a, where the groom lived. As a wedding gift, she received three new dresses and a $20 wedding ring. She was to live with him and his family.

The trouble started on the first night, when he demanded that they share a mattress. She resisted, walking out of the room, only to have him follow.

Sometimes he beat her into submission. For weeks, she cried all day and dreaded the nights, when he would enter the room, blow out the oil lamp and demand sex.

“I asked him not to sleep next to me,” she recalls. “He told me: ‘No, we sleep together in the same room. Your father agreed to accept me as a husband.’”

On a visit to her parents’ house back in the capital weeks later, she wept that her husband was doing unmentionable things to her. Her father claimed there was nothing he could do.

“My cousins would have killed me if I brought dishonour to the family by asking for a divorce,” he said.

But her mother’s sister discreetly advised her to go to court.
The bewildered judge who found Nujood on the bench decided to bring her to his house for the weekend.

His daughters had a swing and toys she had never seen before. They had satellite television, and for three days she feasted on cartoons.

Once the work week began, the judge dispatched soldiers to arrest Nujood’s father and husband. He placed Nujood in the care of an uncle, her mother’s brother.

Still the lawyers and judges had no idea how to handle her case. Nujood and her uncle languished in the courthouse for days until a middle-aged woman, the only one in the courthouse without a headdress covering her face, approached them.

“Are you Nujood?” asked lawyer Shada Nasser, among Yemen’s leading women’s rights activists. “Are you the one asking for divorce?"

Nujood replied she was.

“I couldn’t believe my eyes,” Nasser said. The girl reminded her of her own daughter, Lamia, 8 years old.

Nasser went to the cell where Thamer, the husband, was being held, and was shocked at the age difference between the two. “Why did you sleep with her?” she demanded. “She’s a little girl.”

He didn’t deny it, Nasser recalled. Instead, he complained that Nujood’s father had said she was much taller and better looking than she really was.

Nasser vowed to Nujood that she would take her case without pay and that she would take care of her. She took her to her upscale home and offered to let her stay there.

Outraged, Nasser also called her contacts at the Yemen Times, the country’s English-language newspaper. The story of the brave little girl who went to court on her own to stand up for her rights captivated the country.

News agencies picked up the story and sent it around the world. By the time a sympathetic judge agreed to hear her case several weeks later, media packed into the courtroom. Verbally, the judge, Mohammad Ghadi, was merciless to the husband.

“You could not find another woman to marry in all of Yemen?” he demanded of Thamer. But legally, there was little he could do. No provision in Yemeni law provides for enforcement of sexual abuse charges within a marriage.

Not only did the husband and father go free but Thamer demanded $250, the equivalent of four months’ salary for a poor Yemeni, to agree to a divorce. A sympathetic lawyer donated the cash.

Nujood was elated. “She was smiling,” Nasser recalled. “She said, ‘I want chocolate. I want pears, cake and toys.’”

Nurturing hope

Nasser bought her some new clothes. Donations began pouring in, with several wealthy Europeans offering to pay for her education. One newspaper held a big party for her in its office. A Yemeni journalist gave her a mobile phone.

When the controversy died down, Nujood insisted on going back to live with her parents again, most likely because she is very close to her sister Haifa, 8. Her father promised her that he would not marry off her or any of her sisters.

The girl has refused to see a psychologist or a gynaecologist. She says she doesn’t like doctors. And besides, she says, the experience has made her stronger and wiser.

She says that she looks forward to beginning the third grade and pursuing dreams she never knew she had.

“I want to defend oppressed people,” she says. “I want to be like Shada. I want to be an example to the other girls.”

Free Jonathan Elendu

2008-10-31T18:11:00.000-07:00

A call to the Nigerian government to apply the rule of law. to renew our faith in our motherland, prove your commitment to actually working towards real progress not just lip service.

The brick

2008-10-13T09:29:00.000-07:00

A young and successful
executive was traveling down a neighborhood street,
going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was
watching for kids darting out from between parked
cars and slowed down when he thought he saw
something. As his car passed, no children appeared.
Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door!
He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to
the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry
driver then jumped out of the
car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up
against a parked car shouting,
'What was that all about and who are you? Just what
the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that
brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money.
Why did you do it?' The young boy was apologetic.
'Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't
know what else to do,' He pleaded. 'I threw the
brick because no one else would stop...' With tears
dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth
pointed to a spot just around a parked car. 'It's my
brother, 'he said 'He rolled off the curb and fell
out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him
up.'
Now sobbing, the boy
asked the stunned executive, 'Would you please help
me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and
he's too heavy for me.'
Moved beyond words,
the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling
lump in his throat.. He hurriedly lifted the
handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took
out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh
scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything
was going to be okay. 'Thank you and may God bless
you,' the grateful child told the stranger. Too
shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy!
push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk
toward their home.

It was a long, slow
walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very
noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair
the dented side door. He kept the dent there to
remind him of this message: 'Don't go through life
so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to
get your attention!' God whispers in our souls and
speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have
time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's
our choice to listen or not.

Thought for the Day:

God didn't promise
days without pain, laughter without sorrow,sun
without rain, but He did promise strength for the
day, comfort for the tears, and light for the
way.

Read this line very
slowly and let it sink
in...

If God brings you to
it, He will bring you through
it.

Thanks Peze for this.
i may not send it back every time or pass it on to 7 people to avoid bad luck or to prove i am not ashamed to proclaim the name of God, but i read them all before deleting and sending u a hiss or a R.E. where applicable.

and yes i do pass the jokes, maxines (my favorite) and yabis on...

but this was timely and GOT MY ATTENTION.

Who's the victim?

2008-09-22T12:53:00.000-07:00

PARIS) — A court decision to annul a Muslim couple's marriage because the bride lied about being a virgin discriminates against women and should be overturned, state prosecutors argued Monday.

A court in the northern town of Douai annulled the 2006 marriage in April because the husband discovered on his wedding night that his bride had lied about her virginity. The decision caused an uproar, with some in France calling it a sign that the country's secular values are losing ground to the traditions of its fast-growing immigrant communities. There are some 5 million Muslims in France.

The lower court based its decision on an article of the French Civil Code that states that a spouse can seek an annulment if the partner has misrepresented his or her "essential qualities."

Eric Vaillant, a spokesman for the Douai appeals court, said prosecutors told the three-judge tribunal during a nearly two-hour hearing that a woman's virginity is "in no way ... an essential quality," as the lower court had suggested.

Making a wife's virginity a condition of marriage "would be discriminatory because it would harm the principles of equality between men and women, of free use of one's body and the dignity of the human being," Vaillant said by telephone, summarizing the prosecution's argument.

The prosecution said it was not opposed to the idea of annulling the marriage, which neither couple now wants, but the motive must be "legitimate," in conformity with the principles upheld by France.

Vaillant said the court could base an annulment on an "error about the person, with the couple discovering their true respective personalities on the wedding night" instead of basing it on a false virginity claim.

"We are offering an exit door," he said.

Should the appeals court agree to simply scrap the annulment, the couple will remain married and be forced to seek a divorce.

The couple, a man in his 30s and a woman in her 20s, has not been identified by name. Neither was present in court, Vaillant said.

A verdict is expected Nov. 17

From: Time Magazine

what do u guys think?

naija pride

2008-09-19T21:39:00.000-07:00

Back in the hood!

2008-09-12T20:16:00.000-07:00

am back!
that's righto!
no, i was not abducted by aliens!

unless u're my friend Tunie.
Tunnie babe if u're reading--
gurrrl, u know u're the only one i can tell the honest to goodness truuti. besides they won't believe me anyway! what's that? u believe me! thank u! thank u! a da fun e!
what shape was the spacecraft? Enormous!
mathematically speaking, it was Blaise Pascal deviant! i will give u the specs and the invisible map digitally. ok? hey! whadya say? maybe u can have ur wedding on the spacecraft! (happy happy smile and Klingon salute)~~~!

back to my blogfam jare!
yes o, i have missed u all plentiful.
what was all that locomotive? please don't ask! just believe me,, i am not ccccrrrazy! just nuts!lol

how have u all been? i hope u all enjoyed the summer.( i did!)
what have i missed? buffdays? engagements? weddings? touch downs? chieftancy titles? turbaning? ordinations?nominations?coronations?anniversaries? blogversaries?knightings? promotions? tooth fairy sightings? book deals? freedoms? ( let's celebrate!)

Marriagegrats to Oluwadee and Nikkisab and Ibo dude!
wishing u all a blissful and blessed married life.
did fff get married?

Happy belated buffdays to all una July and August babies! am still expecting cake and jollof o,(Funmi and Laspapi take notus focus)

a special happy buffday to my baby Tolu, ur royal highness! how does it feel to be ......older? the big.....(cheeky grin)

Pink satin! kilode now? am still missing Belle and now u comot too? anyone heard from Isi?
where is my boy chari?
where's my girl shola pacheco?
Zephi- aka babyluv: hmmmmmmmmm!!!
miz opeke, i love u too babe!
tharry plus, wetin u bring o?
omosewa, mind yasef!
Carl, how's that book coming?
welcome to blogville omotee!(stop blushing joh!)

the pics in the previous post were from my trip to Aruba and yes lg, that was fire on his kini. lol

that's it? yes, for now. what more do u want?
oooh! u amebos and gbeboruns! u want a detailed account of my time away?
well, actually and basically i have a blogfull, but, u will have to wait! i have blog rounds to make and jubaing to do.

Trip along

2008-07-28T10:05:00.000-07:00

Hope u're all doing well...
please accept this pics from my trip as kola, just pretend u're there!

i hope to be back to normal blogging soon.

Come one, come all!

2008-07-17T13:00:00.000-07:00

i will be back soon!!!

luv u all.

i had to share!

2008-06-29T19:46:00.000-07:00

sounds like anyone's mom? lol

Homesick!

2008-06-14T16:28:00.000-07:00

am missing home badly! as in i want to just pack it all up and move back home. (naija of course!)
it may sound crazy, but i can't shake the feelings.
the thought that i may never go back to naija to live is very scary!

most of my friends including Mr my1 thinks am being naive, unrealistic and overly optimistic about being able to adapt to life in Lagos. my non-conforming nature, the lack of security,lack of infrastructure, non-existent rule of law and everything in between are the reasons cited.

what do i have to say to that?
ngbano nko? (so what?)
how will it get better if we all remain complacent here in comfort and luxury?
what is success really if u can't share it with the people u love?
can all the money in the world replace the sheer bliss of being able to reach out and literally touch ur parents and siblings at will? even with the petty squabbles and idiosyncrasies.

it saddens me when i feel more and more at home here while each time i go to naija i feel like a foreigner. it's even more sad to need a visa to visit a place i call home.

on my last trip in 2006, the immigration officer gratingly asked me at the airport: what is your meshone? lol (the exchange that followed is a post all by itself)i just kept repeating to my self, non confrontational voice, non confrontational voice...

the first week, i was too overjoyed to be home to notice anything amiss. all i did was eat,sleep and harass my parents. the one night we had a power holding, i begged them not to turn the generator on. it was fun to navigate the house with a torchlight.( flashlight)it was priceless to sit in semi darkness revisiting days gone with my mum.(i have a feeling we probably wud not have had the same conversation had there been light.)
i even thot it might be a good idea for couples in the west to have a light out night! what better way to be romantic and be forced to talk to each other? (if only it was that simple. maybe it is that simple)

my only bummer was falling for mum's mind game that weekend by shelving my night life expedition with my cousins. despite being fully dressed and ready!
the game:
she didn't raise any objections as we made plans during the day,she even helped me pick out an outfit. but as soon as my cousins came back and woke me up from my nap around 10pm her demeanor changed.
she sent my grandma to do the initial assault.
she started by asking:
grandma:ibo le nlo loru yii? (where are u going this late?)
me: a kon sere lo ni(we're just going out)
grandma:ibo gan ni?(where exactly?)
me: club
grandma:klubu? ile ijo? ki lo sonu te nwa lo?(what are u guys going there for?)
me: (laughing) e ma worry a lo jina rara. a ni kuro ni island (don't worry, we'll be right back, we wont even leave the island)
grandma:hmmm!
grandma:se o mo pe bibire ko se fowora?(do you know that being of good lineage is priceless?)
me: ailowo gidi ni yen granma (serious money can buy almost anything granma)
grandma:ko le ye e (u 'll never understand it)
grandma: je nwo igo lofinda yen(let me see that perfume bottle)
me:se e like e?(do u like it?)
grandma:(sniffing the perfume)o ja fikan (smells nice)
mo laiki e (i like it)
me: ma fun yin lola, mo need e lale yii
(i'll give it to u tomorrow, i need it tonight)
grandma: ose oko mi (thanks sweetie)
she leaves singing: ajetunmobi, bibire ko ma se fowora o.....
i quickly finished getting ready thinking i was home free.(little did i know)

i went downstairs to find my mum with smoke bellowing out of each nostril, ( i shud just have ignored her)

mum: are u trying to kill my mother?
me: ?
mum:she is very upset, she said "eni abire kii rinru" and awon o fe fiwu keke omo
(good people don't keep late hours and she does not want to mourn a child in her graying years)lo yoju si won (go see her)

it was only 11pm!

i knew the game was up before i even entered the room, i cud hear her sniffling.
i just hugged her and told her i was staying home.she smiled and handed me the tiger balm and i happily massaged her arthritic knee with it. i hugged and kissed her goodnight. she flashed me a happy and contented smile.
i wanted to linger at the door to hear her victory dance but i had to wash the tiger balm off fast!
i had no apologies for my cousins, afterall it was their grandma too, we just got some suya and chilled.

the highlight of my trip was the two days i spent with my grandma in her town
she woke me up each morning with prayers and my oriki, we sat on the veranda both evenings with me clad in her over sized, starched and camphored ankara iro and buba with baba legba playing on a gramophone in the basa (big parlor)while she regaled me with tales of her days.
i even drove her rickety 190e to the evening market for ofada rice and to mr biggs for snacks.

despite a 40-45 miles trip taking more than 2 hour of driving on potholed death traps and my close encounter with area boys on Nnamdi Azikiwe it was still a very nostalgic and beautiful trip.(yes o, am romanticising naija)

don't get me wrong o, am not trying to trivialize the serious issues in naija and i realize a vacation is not the same as living day to day BUT, i see the potential for greatness there and i still think of naija as home more than ever and i wonder, can we trully be at home away from home?

what do u guys think? am i delusional?

Help! another tag!

2008-06-05T12:08:00.000-07:00

Tagged again by the paradigm!

(am still working on the perfect reward for her! bright ideas anyone?

here goes!

what? u seriously expect me to follow the rules?

1)I consciouslly take/make illogical actions/decisions purely for my personal entertainment (please don't ask for details o)

2)i don't catch bouquets at weddings. it's very entertaining to see some females trying to break their necks for it tho.lol

3)i cannot tolerate phony people.

4)am not into older men or even musicians for that matter but, i find him:

very sexy!
did i mention he also has a line of very sexy shoes?

5)I don't believe in washing cars, but i keep the interior spotless!

6)I love bodies of water but, i don't care much for swimming.

7)the only fashion rule i follow: no rules!

extra extra read all about it!

2008-05-29T18:02:00.000-07:00

if u don't know what it's about, please report to my office for spanking.

TaG along!

2008-05-18T18:03:00.000-07:00

was double tagged by jinta and laspapi(are they related?)

what's the problem with tagging? they reveal way too much!
the rules? why follow rules if rules follow u? (see, what i mean?)

SiX QuiRks! (am a quirk!)

(1)It annoys the hexagons out of me when people think they're paying me a compliment by saying: beauty and brains! (are they mutually exclusive?)

(2)I have never been lonely in my life! the truth is, i crave solitude like an addict crave their drug of choice. (i actually become cranky when over stimulated)

(3)I loooooove to eat! yet, i wud rather starve than to eat just anything other than what i want at that moment or eat in a place i perceive as unclean. of course, i do bukaterias!(it's not unusual for me to skip meals or drive gazillion miles to kutuwengi just to satisfy my palate)

(4)I love my walls, floors and sinks spotless!(no matter how tired i am, i clear out the sink and i mop the kitchen floor every night! yep! i wash walls too!) i have my mum to thank for that o. bathrooms? please don't go there!

(5)I cannot sleep sitting up or in motion. i travel quite a bit so i know o.(11+
hours to Naija, nada! even 20hrs to Singapore sef!)

(6)my name is Sherri and i have a footwear problem! how bad is this problem? not bad joh! who's counting? lol

(7)i love tea with my sugar.chocolate? that's my oxygen.(this is jara)

phew!!

consider urself tagged if u've not been tagged.

April showers spring forth May Blossoms

2008-05-09T18:42:00.000-07:00

i sure hope u're all doing well..
this month is chock full of emotions for moi.

roll out the drums o! am gushing with pride and joy! my two teenage mentees will be graduating high school with honors this month. (college bound in september)yeah!

mr my1 will be celebrating a buffday this month and it wud be two whole years we've been together.(how did that happen?)one of us is a saint.lol

am grappling with a friend's marriage breakdown. they seemed so perfect and happy together and yet they didn't make their 2nd annivesary!
theirs was the first wedding Mr my1 and i attended as a couple, his induction, according to my girl Udu and his first encounter with golden boy.(been meaning to blog about that)
am believing for God's intervention for them.(all prayers will be appreciated)

also grappling with another friend's serious health issues. (God is in control. more prayers o)

Brian Mcknight? heard some of his songs, thot he was a little nasal and whiny. that was until:

being dating this dude for two months after a two year sabbatical, he's sweet, nice, yada yada yada and a bit of stalkeraz. u'd think i wud be worried about the stalking and the eye lowjack, right? nope! i was miffed cos the dude hadn't made any attempt to kiss me!

as i drove to his house for the second time, with the intention of cutting him loose if he's still not willing to swap saliva. (ewwww!? na u sabi o)

he opened the door before i cud register a print on the doorbell, i quickly soften my eye as instructed by my girl Oyin(how? later! i have it down to a science)
as we entered the living room, the light dims and the music starts, no excuse me dance or nothing, dude just assumed the blues grip. i oblige thinking in my head(bush naija man!)
i asked him, who was singing. (this was not Barry white or Marvin Gaye)

he said: "just listen and pretend am singing to u."
midway into my rolleyes, the words registered!

i held my breath waiting for the song to end but it ended only to start again and again and again and again.
he raised my face to his just in time for me to see his lips leaving his face and coming at me in slow motion (twilight zone music)

as his mouth covered mine, my legs jellified...

thank goodness! my clothes didn't fall off! (yes o, it was that gooood)dude is a complete gentleman.

that's our first kiss and i became a Brian McKnight fan.

am back!

2008-04-21T18:00:00.000-07:00

i missed u all o, no be small!

the past two weeks was the most tumultuous two weeks of my entire life!

no shaking my peeps, God is in total control.

the pictures? inspired by the sights of bathing beauties from my emergency trip to Cancun.

yes o, i took my lovely self to Cancun to recuperate.

2008-04-03T09:30:00.000-07:00

Holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said,

"Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like."

The Lord led the holy man to two doors

He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in. In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful. But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.

The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. The Lord said, "You have seen Hell."

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The holy man said, "I don't understand."

"It is simple," said the Lord.

"It requires but one skill. You see they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of themselves."

When Jesus died on the cross, He was only thinking of u and me!

He made me cry

2008-03-20T14:16:00.000-07:00

What's new my peeps?

work is crazy as usual and to top it all, my Dad's in town.

it's not a huge deal to have my dad in town, cos he usually pops in without any prior notice. it's usually "am in the country and will be leaving tomorrow when can i see u?" and of course like an idiot, i wud drop everything, i have even skipped crucial classes a couple of times just to see him. after several late nights at various hotels and numerous meaningless conversations in airport terminals, the nostalgia gradually wore off. each hurried lunch,nocturnal meeting and hasty goodbyes left me emotionally drained. so i met him less and less and he called less. that was until my trip to naija in 2006. just like old lovers, we continued where we had left off, but with urgent fervor. i have my Daddy back!

ironically, he didn't travel as much as he used to, but he calls regularly and i call whenever the spirit moves me.

on his last trip he actually spent a night with me, it was rushed as usual, but it was very different. gone was the usual weariness i usually feel after he's gone.

back to the story: dad calls to say he was in Miami and will be coming to my city the next morning, which is Tuesday. as i was thinking in my head "does this man realize i work? he added, " i 'll see u in the evening after my meetings, shall i meet u at home? or we cud meet for dinner in the city? wow!

five days with moi, no meetings, just me and my daddy! one slight problem o, i had food shopping to do!
never mind that the naija supermarket was a good hour away, and i had no clue as to it's hours. more than two hours, a fortune and a half later, i was ready to cook up a storm.

chei, naija soups are time consuming! (if anyone knows any useful shortcuts, it will be greatly appreciated o) after the fourth pot was cooked and carefully refrigerated, i crawled up the stairs to my room. as tired as i was, there was no way i could sleep without a shower with the pungent odor of naija food pouring out of every pore! i finally get into bed at 1:00am! oblivious to the 4 messages from Mr my1 or even the fact that we hadn't spoken in 24hrs.

the phone rings a half hour or so later, i still have no memory of the conversation but Mr my1 swears, i begged for forgiveness and a promise of something he's really looking forward to collecting on. lol. i wished him luck.

anyhow, am still mesmerized by dad's "effusity" (his word)lol and dad seems happy and proud. the soups were a big hit and he noticed all the changes in the house from the minute details even to the new kitchen. and most importantly he loves the library!

we pretend to watch TV every evening after dinner, but all we do really is gist and argue about a sundry of issues till late into the night. every night, i learn more about the man and much more about myself.

last night he accused me of being an ethical humanist disguised as a christian!why? he wonders if i pray, cos he has yet to hear my night prayers.(argggg!)
he whips out his electronic bible to prove his point, his point: prayers shud be loud and forceful! i asked if God was hard of hearing or was in the company of rowdy angels. he didn't think it was funny.
back to the main gist:
earlier tonight, as we power watched ocean's twelve in prep for ocean's thirteen, he turned to me and said.
"u don't know how wonderful it is for me to spend this time with u.
i have missed the closeness we used to have...."

Between us girls

2008-03-04T07:18:00.000-08:00

am just curious to know what emotions memories of "the first time" evoke in us girls.
from what i have heard so far, the range of emotions is just as diverse as our skin tones.

and for those yet to do it(coughing... Z e p hi ..& co)
what do you hope to feel?

of course, i'll share my feeling too.
giving nothing, losing nothing, just becoming. yes i have beautiful, not too distant memories.
the actual sex was nothing to write about.

this song sums it up perfectly for me.

Song lyrics | Tonight Is The Night lyrics

Managing expectations and obligations

2008-02-25T11:19:00.000-08:00

i think i just found my mind!
when did i lose it? how? too many questions

I came home Sunday night after another weekend away.
as the peace and tranquility enveloped me. i realized how much i have missed my house.
the familiar hum of the viking refrigerator,the plushness of my afghan sofa, even the annoying whirring of the gas boiler.

after checking my voicemail, i went from room to room getting reacquainted with my home. my bedroom, just the way i left it Friday morning as i hastily packed,clothes strewn on the bed and chaise. the floor,it was spotless!
a half drunk cup of tea sits on the nightstand right next to a stack of newly acquired books begging to be read.

i hang the last of the clothes in the closet to reveal the perfectly made bed. not able to resist anymore, i get into my bed still fully clothed and i happily pulled the comforter over my head.

it seems my bed has missed me too, cause it gently cuddles me in its bosom as if to never let go. i hug my body pillow even tighter.

i was awaken out of my reverie by the whine of my front door sensor followed by footsteps on the stairs. a deep sigh, just as Mr my1 walks in with my bags.
i would have loved to have seen my own face, cause he dropped the bags and rushed over, asking if i was alright.

as i raise my eyes to meet his worried and searching gaze,i knew i had to tell him. that, i am so damn tired of keeping up appearances and i need my weekends to myself. just me by myself in my pyjamas all weekend puttering around, reading, eating anything and everything or just doing whatever i please!

i know, some of you are probably thinking. she's having a meltdown! (Au contra re!)
did i say i found my mind?

we have spent nearly every weekend together meeting expectations since December except for the one with my girls in January. okay, the Christmas period and the parties was fun even romantic. but it's not fun anymore. between his obligations and mine we have practically every weekend booked! did i mention, i am a recovering recluse?
why do we have to be at social gatherings together?
cause we are expected to!

if i show up without him, i will spend half the time explaining his whereabouts to each enquirer. answers like, he's busy or he has other engagements is the same as saying we 're not together anymore.

it's a different cup of tea if he shows up without me, more often it's perceived as him been on the prowl or escaping from my deathly grip depending on the gathering.
if it's a close friend of his, i get labelled a snob. several times, after he 'd walked in alone, his close friends had called me to ask why i didn't come with him. one even succeeded in making me feel so guilty i had to get dressed and join them.

so, i just came out and told him outright. i am exhausted and i will not be going anywhere next weekend and maybe the next. no more "just showing faces".

he sat there in silence for a while one brow arched while twisting the ring he now wears on the second finger of his left hand.
finally, he asked if it had anything to do with his aunt and uncle's interrogation this weekend at his cousin's wedding. i suppress a laugh as i answered in the negative.
he smiled and he simply said "that's okay babe".

i did a little victory dance inside.

i understand the necessity of expectations but,i just refuse to be a slave to it.
i also understand the futility of trying to meet society or other people's expectations. frankly, i find it quite exhausting.
the only expectation i care to meet is mine and mine alone.

The allure of the ring

2008-02-15T09:14:00.000-08:00

I recall watching with dismay as the females admired and goshed over the bride's ring. some compared sizes, cut,clarity and even managed to insult the unfortunate girls with "baby stones". i stayed nice and quite, or else, they will all conveniently misconstrue anything said as jealousy or worse. my crazement.

it made me realize why the bride's odeshios brother wud, from seeing the reactions to the ring wud conclude. it's every female's deep desire to have a ring from a man.

does the engagement ring really signify commitment? if so, how come males don't insist on engagements rings too?

my crazy mind only likens engagement rings to branding livestock. the glaring double standard is appalling, yet most females tend to ignore it. the male proposes with a ring, female accepts and happilly wears his ring to show the world she's snagged a man. the man on the other hand needs no ring to show the world his new status or does it not matter until he actually gets married?

what is the allure of the ring?
of course, i love rings they're my second fav accessories right after shoes
they're not accessories? like men?(silly me!)
how could we ascribe so much power to a piece of jewelry?
i have been told it confers rights and priviledges.does it really?

it grieves me to see females agonizing over not being married at a certain age.
i know, it's conditioning. but why wud any female not see how absurd it is?
it seems that most females just want to join the "mrs club" at all cost.

some put their lives on hold,curtail their aspirations, trade in their personalities, lower their standards,overlook serious character flaws, condone and tolerate abusive behaviour just to be marriageable!
why on earth do u want to marry a man who is threatened by ur intelligence and achievements? or a man who is not comfortable with ur independent nature? or worse, a man u can't be urself around?

by virtue of the design, the modern marriage is destined for failure from the very start. a female is sheltered and pampered her whole life,has everything provided by her parents, has no clue what a simple budget is, talkless of how to balance a checkbook, and yet this same female is married off and is expected to run a home successfully? talk about sink or swim!

i remember my mum's remark when i upgraded from a condo to a house.
here i was, thinking she'd be proud and excited, she first asked what was wrong with the condo. i told her nothing, other than the house was a better investment and more private. she looked around the entire house,then she said "so mo pe o le dan iru eleyi wo ni naija?" -u know u wud not dare try this in naija?
i didn' need to ask further to know she meant it was a taboo for a single female to own her own place or a nice car if she harbors any hopes of ever getting married. little did she know, despite not being in naija, there's no escaping naija. as i expected, some called me a snob for moving to the burbs and running away from people, even too oyinbo. the most surprising was hearing one of my girls, voice her concern about my banishment to singlehood hell for life cos now, men will feel like they have nothing to offer!(no, i didn't slap her)

come to find out later, she was partialy right! i couldn't for the life of me attract men who had nothing to offer, but i attracted one who had more than something to offer....Love

why can't some females understand that, they don't need a lot of suitors. just one suited for them, and how can u know who's suited for if u don't take the time to know urself and pursue ur own goals?

i have my reservations about the marriage institution, no surprises there, i hope.
is it ordained by God? really now? adam and eve were married? abraham and sarah? is it then safe to assume that concubines are part of God's plan for marriages? oh, i forgot! he changed his mind in the new testament.lol

please don't get me wrong, i believe in God, i even believe the bible is inspired by God. but i refuse to accept that a loving God wud ordain marriage as an instrument of oppression for females.

do i believe in marriage? if thats what a committed, mutually satisfying and loving relationship in which both partners are free to be themselves is called. yes ke!

She's alive!

2008-02-07T14:02:00.000-08:00

sorry o, my peeps i've been quite busy!

what is it with all dem people getting married by the droves this year?
between the save the dates, engagement annoucements,and actual invitations, we have amassed quite a stack.

still on weddings, a good friend as opposed to a bad one is getting married in a couple of weeks, so, madam prego and i went to her bridal shower.
from my previous experiences,(i have been to quite a number of dem o) bridal showers were always an all girls affairs. am i wrong?

so, u can imagine my surprise to see a handful of guys at this shower.
all the games went very well despite the presence of the guys until the over sabi ditzy chief bridesmaid (yup, how did u know?)noticed the guys weren't included in the games and decided to include them.

bride showered with lingeries she will never wear, some two sizes too small, some just simply ridiculous, some belonging in a torture chamber or better yet,a house of horror, some clearly not meant to be worn by any sane female.
can someone please educate me on what purpose handcuffs, whips, leashes,studded gloves and metal collars have to do with making love?

anywhos, a few sensible gifts here and there, foods, drinks and more silly games and it was all over.(thank goodness)

i drop off madam prego and head to mr my1's house as ordered.(oh yeah, i take orders from him now o. since when? since we had "the couple's goals and refle wateva talk. that is a post all by itself)

just as i let myself into his house with his key, my key?(wateva)and feeling really pleased with myself for finally remembering to put it in my bag for once, my phone rings.(no name and an unknown#)pick up to hear a male voice.

him:hello Sherri

me:who is this?

him: u forgot me already?(with a laugh)

me:who is this again? getting annoyed)

him:u were playing games with me not too long ago

me:(one of the guys at the bridal shower) sorry,i didn't quite catch ur name

him: i didn't throw it

me:(roll eyes) look, am just trying to be polite here. who are u ?

by now, mr my1 has one brow raised(mouthing whos's that?)as i shrugged

him:the one u gave ur # to

me:u are def calling a wrong #

him:there was another sherri there?

me:obviously

him:am just playing, am dj, the bride gave me ur # am her brother(recalling his face)

me:oh!(wondering why she wud, knowing fully well i have a man)

him:oh?

me:can i ask why?

him:why am calling or why she gave me ur phone#?

me:both

him:cos i want to talk to u and as per naija style i pulled the right strings

me(now irritated)did she happen to mention that i have a boyfie?

him:oh yeah, i know u have a bf of almost two years

me:(letting my guard down) so kilo happen?

him:ko si much, wud u have dinner with me tommorrow?

me:?

him:i like u and wud like to know u better

me:u know i have someone, right?

him:someone for almost two years and no ring? at ur age?

me:(annoyed)at my age? wth! is that supposed to mean?

him:don't kid urself, u shud be in a serious relationship by now

me:i see, and u are offering that serious relationship right?

him:u never know

me:(laughing)i'll take my chances with my unserious guy.take care.(click)
i turned to face a bemused mr my1.(i was not amused)

i realized how much i have mellowed, what ever happened to that spitfire sherri? i bet she wud have told him off after the first word out of his runny mouth, wud he have even dared call? i miss her lots.

wait! i feel her coming back!(alright!) i roll my shoulders ready to lunge at mr my1, at any provocative word(yes, any word, even my name!)

he must have sensed her presence, cos he just drew me close with that trademark twinkle in his eyes and said, barely above a whisper "i take it there were guys at the shower eh? oya, come explain urself o "

i explained alright, i just spared the words. lol

ps:i will post my rant on the ring issue later

Celebrating homeboy Osi Umeyiora and the Giants

2008-02-05T07:16:00.000-08:00

no doubt about it that was the best superbowl game ever!
and my boys played their hearts and cute butts off!(enhanced by lycra of course)
big ups for homeboy Osi,he did us proud o
too bad he's too young, if he was just three years older, mr my1 would have a major problem on his hands for sure.lol

2008-01-17T11:56:00.000-08:00

for obvious reasons, i couldn't wait for the day to end.
as i headed home drained, all i wanted was a long bath and my bed (decided to skip the church service)

i need to confess, i wasn't in turmoil over just the two events of the day,
the two women's dilemma brought back some unpleasant perhaps repressed memories.

exactly 5 years 2 months and 18 days ago, i was in the same position, my reaction was not anything like my reaction today.

the event
one of my girls,(she knows am writing about this) had gotten pregnant by a "hit and run" just 23years old without a meaningful job or income opted for abortion.
Saying i came down hard on her would be really putting it mildly! (i was a baby christian at the time) i refused to be a part of it, i pointed out all the other options available, i even offered her financial assistance, i didn't speak to her for two weeks.

i remember that day very vividly, it was sista Roli's 35th bday (that was the only day the particular clinic did the procedure)
we had all prearranged months prior to take her out since she didn't want any "noise"

not knowing she had the procedure done that day or what the recovery process was, i arrived at sista Roli's house dressed and ready to go out, only to meet five solemn faces.
when i found out she had the abortion that day, i was livid! she chose the day knowing well it was sister Roli's bday and boy, was i ready to tell her how selfish she was.
i asked to see her in sister Roli's room, sister Roli begged me to leave her alone but no, i insisted, it must have taken her like 5 minutes to get up but i wasn't deterred.

once in the room, let's just say, i said a whole load of crap, she didn't say a word! she just sat there looking at me with the saddest eyes (she was sitting cos she was too weak to stand) i yapped and yapped and yet she just sat there staring as if not seeing (she's not the kind not to fight back)
still not satisfied, i made to take my tantrum to the others, i turned to take one last look at her and i guess say more crap, she was now in a heap on the floor sobbing quietly...

my heart broke into a million pieces at the sight of my feisty childhood friend curled up into a ball weeping uncontrollably, as i stood rooted to the spot, she started to howl much like a wounded animal..

hours later all six of us laid on the floor in that darkened bedroom exhausted from crying.

we try not to remember the crying fest that was sister Roli's bday party...(no noise, just an ocean of tears)

*****************************************************************************
so u can understand my state of mind.

reluctantly i accepted Mr my1's offer to bring dinner and hang out for a little while.
knowing how i love to eat,he watched in silence as i played with the food, he tried to make jokes, made a comment about my not having music blasting as usual.(wareva)

as much as i didn't want to talk about it then i knew he wouldn't leave unless i did, so i told him about the events of the day.( i couldn't tell him about my girls 's past)

his eyes narrowed,(i was so not prepared for what was coming)and his mouth opened and closed for what seemed like an eternity..

basically, he was surprised i didn't try to persuade her(little sister) to have the baby, how he thinks she obviously came to me for direction seeing that she didn't come to me the fist time, and how it was not just her decision alone, if the father wanted her to keep the child she shud def keep it.(i asked,does wanting mean the same as will be responsible for? to his annoyance)
he wanted to know if i wud kill his child(o yes,i told him,i didn't know he had a child to more vexation)

he went on to complain about how he was not happy i spent the first weekend of the year with my girls(yes o, we went away to the mountain top) how we have not had "the couple's reflection and plans" for the new year (there is such a thing?)blah blah..

all i had was a rueful smile on my lips, i had no fight in me at all.
he finally left in a huff to my relief.(he later called to apologise and we talked long into the night)

i wish he'd known that, us girls had to go away that weekend because over the Christmas holidays we realized our lives are changing rather rapidly and will def never be able to get away together as usual for a long time.
why? despite three out of the five being married, we were still able to get away together at least twice a year, but now, with a child on the way, we had to accept the inevitable.

yes o, my girl is expecting her first baby! and i get a chance to redeem myself,(yes, am still paying)i have resolved to be there for her every step of the way.(her poor husband has accepted his fate)

all in day!

2008-01-09T12:25:00.001-08:00

a tap on the door, looked up,it's my lovely 22 year old little sister!(my sister by nomination)
i flash her a smile, motions her to come in and take a seat while i grid/update a file.
she walks into my office and she closed the door,(the girl does not know the word privacy! so i knew it had to be really good or very bad)

she smiled as she takes a seat

me: what's up?
her:i have something to tell u
me:okayyy

her: u re going to be very disappointed in me, i am so sorry to let u down...(sobbing)
me:what did u do now?( deciding not to make any assumptions)
her:i am pregnant..
me: no!(looking at her in disbelief,i would never have guessed that)
her:this is the second time
me:crum!(trying to compose myself)what are u going to do?

her:i know what u 're going say! it's a sin to kill God's gift and all that, but there's no other choice! i can't have this baby! there goes all my dreams of graduating next year,owning my own house, driving the car of my dreams before i turn 28!... like u... u are so wrong! wrong! wrong! am so so stupid!...

me:calm down(now on her side with a box of tissue and hugging her)
u thought i was going to judge u? cos am a christian? u def don't know me at all.(shaking head )

her:i have heard u say women should be tested for mental illness,given competency tests before licensing them to have children!
me:exactly! u my dear, would have flunked nicely! u def don't want to know what i think shud be done to adults who engage in unprotected sex!just kidding!
look, u know i care very deeply about u, i still think u 're bright and the sky is ur limit. i respect ur choice. it is ur choice u know?.
her:i feel very badly, but there's no other way..
me:what does he say?
her:am not telling him this time, the last time he cried and begged me to keep it!
me:aw www!
her:u think i shod tell him?
me:it's ur choice. u know how i feel about keeping secrets and lying, it takes too much energy to maintain a lie and it always ends up biting u in the butt.
her:he's going to make it more difficult for me
me:do u hear urself? he's not the one carrying the child and he's partially to blame
her:thanks, i 'll keep u posted.
me:if u need me for anything, just ask
her:babysitting?(smiling sadly)
me:neh gah tive! i don't think so!

i hug her tight.
she leaves to face her day and me mine in a state of turmoil..

about two hours later,
a tap, i look up, it's another sister.
this one is beaming with joy! she announces she's pregnant with her first baby after just five months of marriage.
as i hug her, my eyes brims with tears, of joy for one and sadness for another.

think it's over?

Happy new fabulous year!

2008-01-03T14:09:00.001-08:00

i rocked to this song at my bday party in november along with lagbaja's konko below and skentele and some hindu and latin rap songs.

since the party i have received numerous requests for this song "premier gau and lagbaja,s two by my oyinbo friends and colleagues(they also love "fayla kutee"){fela kuti}

what a sexy song!
such a shame we don't appreciate our african artists as we should.....

btw, there's another video of the song shot on location in london but, i prefer the african location o

ranting about polygamy

2007-12-27T12:18:00.000-08:00

polygamy was successfully practiced world wide mainly for agricultural reasons. some other reasons were, to increase the chance of a surviving heir, economic and some other reasons mentioned by other commenter's.

my view
while not an advocate or supporter of polygamy, i strongly resent the hypocrisy of the west against polygamy.

at a lavish graduation party of three children of a prominent yoruba king last year seated with some oyinbo and Caribbean friends who had a field day expressing their shock and disgust about the acceptance of the practice, the kicker was the presence of another yoruba monarch with his three radiantly happy oloris wearing the same attire(one of them happens to be a friend of my mom)
anyhow,i held my tongue for as long as i could, but they were relentless!
u see there's a reason for my madness, here's a woman(the Caribbean) who's "baby father" is also baby father to two other women(that we know of)and from the looks of it, is still getting benefits from his baby mamas,the oyinbo girl is thrice divorced and now shacking with another dude, the other even tho he's male and married has never said anything positive about his marriage or his wife (he sees nothing wrong in being a"john")
so, i asked each one of them how what they are practicing is different from polygamy? or how it's better?
my African American friends had long ago accepted that the baby mama and baby daddy lifestyle rampant within their community is indeed a form of polygamy.

my point?
(i do have one)
i agree that ,the practice is outdated and no longer relevant for today, however, we need to understand that it served a purpose and is a foundation for today's monogamous marriages.
from my conversations with two women i have the utmost respect for who are in polygamous marriages, i gathered, that being strong, career driven and opinionated are detrimental to a naija woman's chance of finding a husband, because society dictates that men are superior and thereby need to have a woman that can reinforce this(that defies logic no be small! i would expect they would feel manly sparing with a bright and articulate mind)
after marrying their "ideal woman" and not finding the companionship/fulfilment/challenge that they crave, resort to playing around or polygamy to satisfy the crave.

one of the women insists it's a way for women to have their cake and eat it too.(not sure i subscribe) but i can plainly see that she's independent and in control of her life and she's truly happy even tho it's with a quarter of a husband (my opinion) maybe that's all that's needed.

the bottom line is we should appreciate and embrace our heritage and let it evolve to meet the needs of the present rather than accept the west's definition as the ideal (please! u don't want me going there!)

this was a comment i left on a post about polygamy on solomosydelle,s blog

Christmas romantic?

2007-12-24T18:12:00.000-08:00

Christmas has always been very a festive season as far back as i can remember, but never ever been romantic.

since becoming an adult,i basically just go thru the motion of the season, not quite sure if it's the fact that i know it's unlikely to be the actual birth month of Jesus or it's proximity to the end of the year,or the commercialization of the season itself, it all just make me reflective and very melancholic.

but this year is very different, my1 and i went to all the usual Christmas/holiday parties just like last year but this year, i felt at home in the company of his friends and coworkers, i didn't get irritated to be part of a couple. i actually caught his bug (he loves Christmas, he insists it's a more romantic season than valentine) as we danced at the various parties he pointed out the love and romance in all the songs that i never paid any attention to before.

songs like mariah Carey's version of "all i want for Christmas is u" or boyz2men's "let it snow" or "it won't be christmas without u" or "i miss u most on Christmas time" or my favorite, CB's "this Christmas"

it was especially cute when he called one night during a snow storm singing "i don't care what the weather maybe, as long as u're here with me..
and when i asked what he wanted for Christmas, he broke into a song " babe, all i want for Christmas is uuuuuuu...

for the first time i helped him shop for gifts for his co workers, we decorated his house and mine together we even put up a tree! even tho i still don't get the significance of it.( it was fun putting the mistletoe to the test.. lol)

what is the problem?
the truth is, a couple of years ago i would have considered all these mushy and corny, the fact that i find them romantic now makes me wonder if im getting mellow in my old age o

anywhos,
i wish each and every one of u a merry Christmas may u all enjoy the beauty and romance of the season of the birth of our lord and savior

Still on my little man

2007-12-19T11:30:00.000-08:00

he was out cold!(am that good! lol)
the only times he moved during the night was whenever i moved his foot away from my thigh.(he was fine as long as one foot was in contact with me)
i eventually gave in and let him have his way.

he must be a early riser, cos i was roused out of my sleep at about 7:30 by muffled voices; momsie trying to persuade him to let her give him a bath(he wanted auntie Sherri to do it)i swiftly threw the cover over my head and burrowed deeper into my warm bed...(auntie sherri ko, uncle sherri ni)

i was woken about two hours later by momsie, apparently, he let her give him a bath and dress him but refused to eat breakfast unless i made it.
momsie was afraid he was going to starve first reaction was "ebi ni o pa yeye"
(meaning: he'll eat when he gets hungry enough)
by now he was in my room too,on my bed with his arms around my neck hugging me to death.
him: i want you to make me breakfast!
me:why?
him:cos i want u to?
me:what's wrong with momsie?
him:nothing, i love you! (aw www)

before u could say jack rabbit! i was downstairs in the kitchen whipping up my world famous pancakes and sausages and eggs.

after polishing off 3 servings, he proudly announced "that was the best pancakes in the whole wide world!" thanks auntie Sherri!(of course, am grinning)

as we danced around the kitchen, (doing the victory dance) mr "my one" walks in(no, i wasn't expecting him o)
out of habit,he gives me a kiss (just the quick brush on the lips kind)we both glanced at the dude who was staring at us now, i make quick intro("my one", meet "my sugar lumps,love of my life, honey pie...")they give each other curious looks.

m1:where's momsie?
me: she's on the phone,?
m1:is she ready?
me: for wetin?
m1:she going to sista roli's
me:why are the one taking her?
m1:bro tj is working
me:wait a minute! she's supposed to be babysitting..( i stormed off in search of the agba babysitter)

FUNNY MOMENTS
i came back down to find my men duking it out on my Nintendo wii(cute)
so i joined them o,
as we played,my little dude, out of the blue asked,

auntie Sherri,can i sleep with u again tonight?
before i could answer, (my1 with an incredulous look on his face)
my1:u slept with my woman?! dude, u have some serious game o, care to share ur secret? i 'll pay top dollars.. (agbaya)

the poor boy didn't know what to say!lol

II
i left them to their game for my office/library in the basement,little dude comes running down,
him:uncle my1 wants u
me:(not feeling like going back up)tell him i want him u too
him:(halfway up the stairs, at the top of his lungs) auntie Sherri said, she wants u too!
momsie:awon agbaya meji! e sa ma diti omolomo

III
he came back down, he immediately asked if he can play with the package of golf balls i had on my desk, i told him they were not mine and to ask uncle my1 if he can play with them,
again, he went halfway up the stairs and yelled,
"uncle my1, can i play with ur balls? "(of course, i was on the floor laughing)

either momsie didn't get it, or she chose to ignore us cos she didn't say a word.

finally! man in my bed!

2007-12-12T12:05:00.000-08:00

it's not what u think o

momsie agreed to babysit my cousin's 5yr old son for the weekend knowing fully well of my reservations.
so, i came home friday night to find the cute as a button dude whom i haven't seen since he was in diapers even tho i speak to him regularly on the phone .

as i walked in the door, he rushed to hug me (did i not read someplace that boys didn't display affection?)

before i could take my coat off, he insisted on showing me all the drawings and writings he had done with momsie, the dude wanted me to watch him draw all kind of funny looking figurines including one of me walking on stilts and carrying a suitcase on her wrist . lol

from the drawing we moved to the living room where he asked me all manner of questions about anything and everything!

him: how come u live all alone in this big house?

me: i like living alone

him:why?

me: i just do

him: how come u don't have any kids?

me: cos I'm not married (wrong answer!)

him: my mom's not married and she has a kid!

me: i know, emm emm.. here's a nice show! i will be right back

i quickly dashed up the stairs to my room.

later, i asked momsie when his bedtime was, she didn't know, will he be ok sleeping alone in the spare bedroom? (his mom didn't write down any instructions?)

momsie said we'll know when he's tired and if he can't sleep alone he can sleep with her (okay!)

eleven o clock came, momsie was fast asleep on the couch and the dude in his spiderman pajamas showed no sign of tiredness!

i announced it was bedtime, woke momsie up and we all went up the stairs, i put dude in the spare bedroom with the nitelight on and door open.

as i made to leave, he declared "we didn't pray! so we prayed o (the boy can pray!)

"father God, thank u for my mommy, my daddy, me, my auntie sherri, grandma and grandpa, mrs goldstein, all the poor children of the world, give us rest as we sleep thru the nite. in Jezuz name! amen" ( we hugged, and kissed goodnight)

i gingerly made my nightly cup of herb tea, ready to snuggled in bed with a book with the tv on as usual, my phone rings, it's oyin trying to get me to change my mind about going to some party that night ( after partying 2 nights back to back last weekend for my bday, i was looking forward to a weekend of vegging and nothing was going to change that)

as i finally i cozy up with my book and tv, dude bounded into my room asking " can i sleep with u? pleassssse?" (which kin wahala be this?)

within a matter of five minutes, dude was fast asleep!(thank God)

my feelings exactly

2007-12-10T09:17:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful,
independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as
she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an
unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said, "Elegant
lady, I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch cast
a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn
back into the dapper, young Prince that I am, and then my
sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in my castle
with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my
clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and
happy doing so."

That night, on a meal of lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned
in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to
herself and thought, "I don't think so!"

7 weird things about me

2007-12-03T13:40:00.000-08:00

as much as i absolutely detest tagging, chain letters and the likes, however, i will indulge Laspapi. (he tagged me)

here goes:

i} am appalled and yet intrigued by women who use their sexuality/sensuality to get what they want

ii} i have no phobias. my friends say am fearless (not a daredevil tho)

iii} i have zero patience/tolerance for incompetence and yet i often sympathise with the ignorant
iv} i relish spending time alone (preferably with a good book)
yes, i'm the weido u see at parties and gatherings with her nose in a book, after losing many books to unlawful seizures i now resort to going to the car to read when i get bored.

v} i cannot and will not use an unclean bathroom (i have held it for a whole day on numerous occasions) i just simply cannot go!

vi} people often mistake my being reserved as being aloof or arrogant

vii} i love to do the opposite of given instructions (never again in physics lab tho) lol

in the spirit of defiance and nonconformity i tag......no one

o happy day!

2007-11-23T23:09:00.000-08:00

Happy buffday to me!

gonna party like it's 1999!!

The eagle has landed

2007-11-12T13:46:00.000-08:00

Just randomly gisting my mum about the party planner from hell (u know who u are)
who has been tirelessly planning my bday party with such gusto!(who send me?)na so we finished gisting, hang up, end of tori?
two days later, mom calls to informed me she was coming! (who send am invitation?)
i tried to dissuade her,(weather, too busy,gets dark earlier...)she no gree
she insisted she wants to be with me (her baby) for my bday(since when?)

amid the madness, i managed to have the house cleaned and momproofed,stocked up on her fav fruits and veggies..
it's been two days and my once tranquil and peaceful home has been bursling non stop!
naija people calling at odd hours(they don't know time diff?)

the funny part is mom won't pick up the phone, (yes o, u guessed it)i get to speak to everybody and their mother..
every conversation ends with: igba wo lo ma marry? (when are u getting married)
most of the time, i just hand the phone to mom.
and every time she gives the same answer "eh, o ma ko ko marry o"(she refused to get married) lol

Anyhos, the real gist is her conversations with her friends.(prereq: understanding yoruba)
it's real hilarious hearing the old folks talking about sex (yes o, they do)

when she asked one friend about a certain man,she replied" a ma jo yun rawa lehin ni o, eyin de ti hurun o, iyari logbeni nwa ka. ore, oyinbo nse kan! yehin yehin orisirisi ma kun oja. lalai foju fena.

they also gisted about another lady married to some rich man and was having her bush trimmed and whacked by the gardener in the uk(feel free to draw ur own conclusion)

and then there was the judge who was benching prosecutor o, defense counsel o. plaintiff o, gbogbo won awo po.(contempt in court)

on another note:
i pray God delivers me from this planner from hell.
have u heard of a celebrant not having any say about the guests to her own throwdown?

i have tried everything, and now, i resort to begging and grovelling:
abeg ur royal prettiness and ubber fabulousness, i ur humble subject begs u, implore u(dico is on fire!) please don't cause katakata o,
please don't and if u have, please disinvite golden boy o
i know how u pride ur self as a classy babe (that is def not classy,rather cheesy and downright low) may i add mean and wicked ala ursula?

not quite

2007-11-02T18:26:00.000-07:00

even though i was relieved now that the mystery of the stalker was over, i still have to figure what to say to the dude.
i read the card again, "please return my call" which call? another mystery which i decided to solve later. i have tons of work to do.
i called my girls with the update as i tackled my day.
just before lunch, my phone buzzed, it's him!
him:hi, i,ve been expecting ur call
me: im fine thanks for asking, how are u?
him:(silence, a short laugh)u're good!
me:thanks(smiling)
him:how was ur weekend?
me: good and yours?
him:it would have been nicer if u called, i thought we hit it off on friday..
me:thanks for the drinks i had a good time
him:just go easy on the virgin cosmo next time, i hear they can be deadly(laughing softly)
me: real funny!(smiling)
him:my office' s only two blocks from urs, how about lunch?
me:sorry, I'm booked for lunch
him:booked?
me: oh, thanks for the chocolates
him:u got them?
me: duh!(roll eyes)
him:thanks
me:sorry, i could n't help it (grinning)
him:how about dinner tonight?
me:tonight? u realize it's monday right?
him?u don't eat dinner on monday nights?
me:funny, what time 's dinner?
him: how's 7, too early?
me: (remembering it's pizza nite with the two teenage girls i mentor)let's make it another time, i have something to do tonite
him:ok. can i call u later?
me:ok
him:good, later.
me: bye

we both hang up just as i realize he only has my office#, oh well!

I suffered thru lunch with my bosses, shuffled some more papers before heading home. ..
as we played basketball, i couldn't help observing how much more developed and curvaceous the group of 15 and 16 year olds were, more than most of the girls my age even.(another topic for another day)
after the game, the girls decided they wanted dim sum instead of the usual pizza, me being the finicky eater,decided to take them to my favorite joint..( a little out of my way but def worth the trip)
anyway, the girls were more impressed with the ambiance of the place than they were with the dim sum (go figure)
we eat, have our usual chat: academics, home, teen dramatics ..
as always, we lost track of time.
as we got ready to leave the table , my cell phone rings, i quickly turn it off without even looking at the caller(am i the only one who think that the cell phone is the most obnoxious intrusion known to mankind?)i apologise and we finished our chat.
after dropping off each girl, i drove into the parking lot of a nearby convenience store, as i packed, another car pulls up and my phone vibrates, i rummaged thru my bag for it finally finding it still lit, i pick it up to hear a familiar male voice asking me to look to my right, i look, it's him!(my heart races, omg! mo daran! he's a stalker after all!)
he walks over to my side.

me:i thought u lived in the city?
him:nice to see u too (smiling)
me:oh, hi
him:so u chose to have dinner with 2 girls instead of me?
me:?
him:i watched u guys walk in and i waited and watched u the entire time
me:are u serious?
him:i called, i saw u turn the phone off...
me:wait a minute, i didn't give u my cell phone# how did u get it?
him:it's on ur business card
me:wow! where did u get that from?
him:(grinning) i stole it..
me:?
him:from the Princeton club.. the first time we met...
me:u have been stalking me since ?
him:no!... i live in this town.i didn't believe it was u when u walked in with those 2 girls at the same time i was picking up my dinner, cos u fouled up my dinner plans. remember?
me:hm mm (slowly exhaling)
him:i thought u lived in the city?
me: nah!
him:what town?
me:u mean where I'll be moving to?
him:(laughing) seriously, I'm not stalking u
me:ok. wareva

we chatted a little more, made plans to have a proper dinner date two days later before bidding each other goodnight..

from this experience, i have learned to pay more attention to places and my surroundings..

contd

2007-10-11T10:51:00.000-07:00

wouldn't you believe it!
exactly a week later, i got another bouquet of flowers with a card saying "can't get u off my mind" along with a fone#
so i picked up the phone and called udu who's now back from her trip(she was quite miffed she missed the previous drama and my not calling her)

me:i just got another one o
udu: another what?
me: delivery now
udu:hmm, are u sure it's not golden boy? (mr i don't eat mede mede)
me: why would he use a diff name?
udu:are u spooked again?
me:are u kidding?
udu:abeg no worri jo. abeg o me i want the dinner wey u owe me today today o
me:wareva, u have any place in mind?
udu:o tun nna, (u 're still haggling) see u later.

the dinner with udu was a sharp contrast to my dinner with oyin exactly a week ago.
she regaled me with juicy details of her trip.(wish i could post about it,i know she will kill me for sure. lol)
she reeled out fabu after fabu thru out the night(yes o she 's the fabulaxer in my hair)the people at the next table told the waiter they wanted whatever we were having..
after dinner, she informed me she was sleeping over at my house to catch up on gist despite the fact that it was a week night and we both had to work the next day. i happily agreed knowing sleeping was not in the equation.
after gisting all night we concluded, no, udu reasoned there was no reason to be afraid, she said (like she would know)stalkers do not set out to harm their victims, they end up harming them only when the victims don't use common sense, it sounded good as illogical as it was.
so we agreed i would call him and stay friendly at a distance.
i didn't get a chance to call him the next day cos of an emergency at work, so i kept putting it off mainly cos i had no idea what to say.

after a whirlwind of a week, that friday night a group of us decided to meet for dinner after work to celebrate at a well known watering hole. amid the merriment,a familiar dude approached our table, i quickly remembered meeting him at the Princeton Club a couple of weeks ago, he came over to say hello, one oyinbo chic hugged him rather tightly to our amusement, he made as if to hug me so i politely shook his hand.we made small talk about the event and as he was leaving he handed me his card which i tucked into my bag.

after dinner,as we were leaving he came over to ask if i can join him for a drink, i tried to feign tiredness but my colleagues edged me on telling him i was Cinderella as i don't stay out past midnight, so i agreed to have a drink even tho i don't drink.
as it turned out i had a fab time with him. i was just bummed he didn't ask for my digits as we bade each other goodnite..

he waltzed across my mind a couple of times all weekend.. i mentioned this to my girls (big mistake!)they all chorused: why u got to wait for him to ask for ur digit?
u should have given it to him jo, dudes want u to show some interest too...yada yada (roll eyes, hiss, more hiss)so i decided not to tell them i have his card.i know udu would def have put a knife to my neck to call him.

i arrived at the office monday morning to find another delivery, this time not flowers, a box of Godiva chocolates with a mylar balloon. anyone who know me,would tell you, i love good chocolate, i will do anything, well, almost anything for a good piece of chocolate.
curiously i opened the card, it read:thanks for the best evening of my life.
please return my call. my heart sank. it's from the nutso i had yet to call..
just then my oyinbo colleague(the overhugger)walked into my office and started talking about friday night,how she used to work with him and really likes him(i'm thinking: she's got jungle fever!!) she wanted every detail of my drink with--- she said his name, the name of the nutso!
turns out that, the oyinbo dude who introduced us at the Princeton club butchered his name so badly it became another name..

2007-10-03T09:42:00.000-07:00

the delivery was perplexing cos i am known to have excellent memory,actually short of being photographic my memory power should be rated really high...
so u can understand why it was troubling not remembering going on a date with this person,also as i have not been on date in over two months.(it was more like an interview for domestic help than a date..lol, incidentally,he too sent flowers the next day apologising for his behavior and some crap about giving him a chance b4 writing him off. yada yada yada....)
the more i racked my brains for who it could be the more freakier it became, someone knows my full name, my office, what else do they know?
amid the ohhs and aahs of how gorgeous the arrangement was, i was contemplating tossing them in the nearest bin as my paranoia peaked..
i was finally able to settle down and actually get some work done and put the "delivery" on the back burner. that is until the end of the day.
my dinner with oyin didn't help matters at all. to say the girl has an active mind will be putting it really mildly, the girl is nuts!
she conjured up all kinds of wild and crazy scenarios, nothing with any semblance to love or romance. by the end of dinner she had me wound up so tight, my head was spinning. u should have heard her, "i knew it!this ur mouth eh? u had to tell it like it is! miss independent!(shake head,roll eyes...)
i had to keep grabbing the table to keep me from reaching across and strangling her.
once I'd had enough i thanked her for her kind support and made my way home.(she later called and offered to spend the night with me, me: no thanks! )
i went home,relaxed, prayed, and activated my alarm system for the first time in months before settling in for the night.

by the next day i was more at peace and have conclude it must be a prank. so i was completely caught off guard when a call came thru my line, picked up the phone, it was the person who sent the flowers asking when and where to pick me up! omg! i must have sounded really dense, cos i said ' i don't remember going on a date with u cos i have no idea who u are! he found it rather amusing, cos he asked if had been speed dating,me: ?
him:u must go on lots of dates to not remember them all?
me:? (getting annoyed)listen, i have no time for this.
he then went on to describe the first date:we had a beautiful meal in classy place, we looked into each other's eyes all night, we briefly held each other's hands, intellectual convo was flowing, a very nice evening except u didn't let me kiss u goodnight. remember now?
me:i would!if it happened!
now I'm thinking he's a psycho and i better find a way to get rid of him without incident.
him:OK.so how about that date?
me:my schedule is rather tight right now.oh, thanks for the flowers, they were beautiful.
him:the brush off eh?
me:not at all. take care.
click. whew!

"my one"

2007-10-02T13:14:00.000-07:00

where do i start?
from the very first sighting i guess.
we sat at the same table at a business roundtable event at the princeton club a few moons ago....
there were no fireworks nor sparks at least not on my part,he claims the angels were singing.. too bad i didn't notice.
these events are usually male dominated and can be really boring so u can understand my aversion to them and whenever i attend, it's with a great deal of apathy.
anyway, i was seated at a table with 2 other gals and five guys including him.
at the end of the event,the guys invited us gals for drinks to which i declined and quickly made my escape.
u can imagine my suprise when two days later a bouquet of flowers was delivered to my office asking me for a second date from a name i don't have any recollection of.

when life puts u in a box

2007-09-20T12:19:00.000-07:00

When life (i prefer society) put u in a box, what to do?

a) redesign and redecorate?
b) make it comfortable and homely?
c) fight like hell?
d) have a pity party?
e) install wheels?
f) install wings? (aerodynamics)remember this when some one says to u: "u have grown wings"
g)do nothing?
h)demand for a bigger box?
g)turn it into a prison?
i)pretend it's five star hotel room and society is room service?
j)break down the damn box? (possibly with ur bare hands)
k)install a lock or the best security device?
j)be a sister to the girl in the next box?
l)use what your mama gave you? (the one encased in your cranium)
m)use what your mama gave you? (the one between your legs)

more?

i am aware that this can apply to men too, to an extent.

are women their own worst enemies?

2007-01-25T13:41:00.000-08:00

I was blessed to be raised by a "mother" who instilled strenght and character in my sisters and i despite the labels she had to live thru.(she let us speak our minds even as children and that was not popular at the time in Naija culture)
i had to give a little glimpse into my childhood before i unleash my insanity on the world..
when i was much younger, there were instances when i had witnessed or heard of a female being ill treated or abused i got very angry at the female for allowing the abuse.one particular incident remain very vivid to me.
i came home to find my sister in law beaten black and blue. here's the conversation:

me: kilo sele? ( what happened here?)

her: sisi kalifonia! sisi sisi kalifonia! (crying){ she can't call me by my given name in the naija culture}

me:stop crying and tell me what happened.

her: iya ti je mi o... mo ti gbe o(i have suffered...)

me :kilo sele, who did this to u?

her:egbon yin ni, egbon yin ni o (still crying)

me: e pele, please stop crying...(i help her up )
where's my broda?(me assuming they had to rush him to luth or some other hospital)
her:he has gone out.

me:is he okay? (i was afraid he was seriously hurt)

her:eni to gbe soyoyo lati wa okay(apparently she got the beating because she wanted to know what the soyoyo was doing in his car)

me: soyoyo in lagos ? should i call mr olaiya for help ?( panicking) {i assumed my mum was not home since her car was not in the driveway}

her:(looking at me strange) help for wetin?

me: the soyoyo now!!

her: (bursting into laughter) your mum is home

me: (rushing to my mum's side of the house, she looked like she had been crying too)mum, what are you doing here and not trying to help broda with the Soyoyo people?

mum:ni suru sista primate! your broda does not need any help,soyoyo gan lo need help

me:(confused) kile mean?(mum and sista in law now laughing hard)

then my mum explained that "soyoyo" was a bleached woman and not the oloro masqurade.
just then my broda walked in looking spic span without a scratch on him.

i was livid, i turned to my sister in law
me: u should be ashamed look at him! he doesnt even have a scracth on him!
are your hands broken? what kind of a woman are you? eni to ye kigbobi ko.

soyoyo nbo

looking back now i know that i was lashing out at the wrong person and was adding insult to injury, but i can' t but wonder why some women put up with that kind of crap