The eagle has landed

Just randomly gisting my mum about the party planner from hell (u know who u are)
who has been tirelessly planning my bday party with such gusto!(who send me?)na so we finished gisting, hang up, end of tori?
two days later, mom calls to informed me she was coming! (who send am invitation?)
i tried to dissuade her,(weather, too busy,gets dark earlier...)she no gree
she insisted she wants to be with me (her baby) for my bday(since when?)

amid the madness, i managed to have the house cleaned and momproofed,stocked up on her fav fruits and veggies..
it's been two days and my once tranquil and peaceful home has been bursling non stop!
naija people calling at odd hours(they don't know time diff?)

the funny part is mom won't pick up the phone, (yes o, u guessed it)i get to speak to everybody and their mother..
every conversation ends with: igba wo lo ma marry? (when are u getting married)
most of the time, i just hand the phone to mom.
and every time she gives the same answer "eh, o ma ko ko marry o"(she refused to get married) lol

Anyhos, the real gist is her conversations with her friends.(prereq: understanding yoruba)
it's real hilarious hearing the old folks talking about sex (yes o, they do)

when she asked one friend about a certain man,she replied" a ma jo yun rawa lehin ni o, eyin de ti hurun o, iyari logbeni nwa ka. ore, oyinbo nse kan! yehin yehin orisirisi ma kun oja. lalai foju fena.

they also gisted about another lady married to some rich man and was having her bush trimmed and whacked by the gardener in the uk(feel free to draw ur own conclusion)

and then there was the judge who was benching prosecutor o, defense counsel o. plaintiff o, gbogbo won awo po.(contempt in court)


on another note:
i pray God delivers me from this planner from hell.
have u heard of a celebrant not having any say about the guests to her own throwdown?

i have tried everything, and now, i resort to begging and grovelling:
abeg ur royal prettiness and ubber fabulousness, i ur humble subject begs u, implore u(dico is on fire!) please don't cause katakata o,
please don't and if u have, please disinvite golden boy o
i know how u pride ur self as a classy babe (that is def not classy,rather cheesy and downright low) may i add mean and wicked ala ursula?