Wednesday, January 9, 2008

all in day!

a tap on the door, looked up,it's my lovely 22 year old little sister!(my sister by nomination)
i flash her a smile, motions her to come in and take a seat while i grid/update a file.
she walks into my office and she closed the door,(the girl does not know the word privacy! so i knew it had to be really good or very bad)

she smiled as she takes a seat

me: what's up?
her:i have something to tell u
me:okayyy

her: u re going to be very disappointed in me, i am so sorry to let u down...(sobbing)
me:what did u do now?( deciding not to make any assumptions)
her:i am pregnant..
me: no!(looking at her in disbelief,i would never have guessed that)
her:this is the second time
me:crum!(trying to compose myself)what are u going to do?

her:i know what u 're going say! it's a sin to kill God's gift and all that, but there's no other choice! i can't have this baby! there goes all my dreams of graduating next year,owning my own house, driving the car of my dreams before i turn 28!... like u... u are so wrong! wrong! wrong! am so so stupid!...

me:calm down(now on her side with a box of tissue and hugging her)
u thought i was going to judge u? cos am a christian? u def don't know me at all.(shaking head )

her:i have heard u say women should be tested for mental illness,given competency tests before licensing them to have children!
me:exactly! u my dear, would have flunked nicely! u def don't want to know what i think shud be done to adults who engage in unprotected sex!just kidding!
look, u know i care very deeply about u, i still think u 're bright and the sky is ur limit. i respect ur choice. it is ur choice u know?.
her:i feel very badly, but there's no other way..
me:what does he say?
her:am not telling him this time, the last time he cried and begged me to keep it!
me:aw www!
her:u think i shod tell him?
me:it's ur choice. u know how i feel about keeping secrets and lying, it takes too much energy to maintain a lie and it always ends up biting u in the butt.
her:he's going to make it more difficult for me
me:do u hear urself? he's not the one carrying the child and he's partially to blame
her:thanks, i 'll keep u posted.
me:if u need me for anything, just ask
her:babysitting?(smiling sadly)
me:neh gah tive! i don't think so!

i hug her tight.
she leaves to face her day and me mine in a state of turmoil..

about two hours later,
a tap, i look up, it's another sister.
this one is beaming with joy! she announces she's pregnant with her first baby after just five months of marriage.
as i hug her, my eyes brims with tears, of joy for one and sadness for another.


think it's over?

27 comments:

Joy Isi Bewaji said...

hmmm the irony of life!
so this condom thing no dey enter some people head?
God help us all

how d new year go be my sis?!

Anonymous said...

I am glad she decided to keep the child...that does not stop her from realizing her dreams.
So she made a mistake by getting pregnant?
She can rise above that and still accomplish all her dream. It just may not come to her trouble-free but what does?
But it will come.
And believe me; she will be happy she made the choice she is making now.
Tell her (for me) it will be well…

little miss me said...

awww..its amazing how he same gift of a child could be ones best dream and another's nightmare..
its going to be a handful her keeping the child,thats a really bold move.

flawsandall said...

eya, such irony in one day...

happy new year babes

laspapi said...

Sometimes, life throws curve balls. My prayer- May the decisions we make never come back to haunt us.

Happy new year, my beautiful sherri.

Sherri said...

@isi,
God help is right o

am very hopeful this new year

how u dey?

@miz opeke,
i have mixed emotions
but am optimistic.
passed on ur msg.
thanks....

@lmm,
yes, yes.

@Zephi,
that's life o
how u dey?
are u back?

@laspapi,
a big amen to that prayer luv
once again,u bring a smile to my lips. thanks laspapi

desperate lady said...

O wow, the end touched me a lot. You really gave good advice but i'm wondering why she would want to get rid of the baby when the boyfriend wants the kid. well people make different choices, i just hope it's one she doesn't regret.
@Miz opeke-she didnt decide to keep the child, sherri is talking about 2 different people.

Sherri said...

@dl,
u scared me o!
i had to call to confirm.
she is leaning more towards keeping the baby.
like miz opeke, i concluded she was def keeping it when she asked if i would be babysitting.

as for the boyfie,
in my opinion, it really doesn't matter what he wants, it's her body she shud be the only one making the decision. even if na husband sef, the woman shud decide

surprisingly this didn't go down well with mr my1 one bit o. lol

i will gist u later jare

desperate lady said...

later? dnt play rough play abeg, give me full jist.

Jinta said...

what occurs to me is that people are still not strapping up and then they come crying when pregnant or STD'd. strap up, people!!!

i totally disagree with your last comment, sherri, about it being her body and her decision alone. it took 2, so 2 shld decide it, not unless she's an hermaphrodite. the 'it's her body' syndrom is what led to baby-mamaism, irresponsible fatherhood becos they had unwanted pregnancies thrust on them, and so many single parents.

Zena said...

like wow, It's crazy isn't it?

Sherri said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sherri said...

@dl,
u this gurl and gist!
the gist????
all is well now o, just that mr my1thinks or shud i say, is empassioned about the right of the "father" in the decision making(rolleyes)
how u dey?

@jinta,
dude, don't let me burst out my tae kwondo moves o. lol
since when does inseminating a woman (putting it clinically) confer rights on a man?
how long does it take? what specialized skills are required?(don't answer that!)
i bet 2 minutes tops and maybe a heave(rolleyes)
are u comparing a few thrusts here and there to the emotional,mental and physical rigor tjhat is, a pregnancy ?

and we're not even talking about carrying the pregnancy to term and raising a child yet!(pleassssse don't get me started o)

@zena,
it is.
nice to see u in this neck of the woods

Jinta said...

2 minutes? what 2 minutes? those 3 seconds flat take a lot out of us. we have rights!!!

flawsandall said...

sweets happy new year..pregnancy, abortion..very touchy subjects

TheAfroBeat said...

Hi Sherri! Thanks for stopping by the Afro Beat, and for sharing your perspective.
As for the touchy subjects you bring up (great post btw!), very tricky one methinks. If i were the father, i definitely would want to know and if i really wanted the baby, to the point that i'd be fine to raise it all on my own, i would hope that the mother-to-be would be considerate (perhaps not the right word) enough to go through the pains of pregnancy in order to bring "our" child to life.

Now as a woman, putting myself in your girl's shoes, it'd be a completely different ballgame (if i could go through an abortion, which i could not btw, even though i wouldn't force my beliefs on anyone). She's probably got her reasons and you're right to support her through this. Hopefully, she leans towards keeping it ;)

Sherri said...

@jinta,
3 seconds!
i stand corrected
rights ko, lefts ni.

@@zephi,
happy new year luv,
touchy subject, hence we must touch it o

@afrobeat,
it's easy for u guys to assert rights cos u don't have to do the "hard work" involved.
while i commend u for the courage and nobility about rasing the child alone, i worry about the emotional damage/scar the knowledge or thought of not being wanted by ur own mother can inflict on a child.

i have strong beliefs/feelings on abortion, but my belief that no woman should be forced to bring a child into this world is much stronger.
every child deserve to be loved and wanted by their mother even while in the womb.

btw,
thanks for ur comments and thanks for stopping by.

Allied said...

Aww.. the same gift but different reactions.

But i disagree wuth you, i dont think its her choice alone. I know its her body but the child is his too.

Simi Speaks said...

Ahh. Conflicting emotions over the same precious gift..

It's truly a personal choice.

Either way, they are a joy!

Sherri said...

@allied,
am not too shocked
how u dey?

@simi speaks
yes o
they are a joy to those who choose.

how are u babes?

TheAfroBeat said...

i know...like i said I would never force my beliefs on anyone.I know it's a tough call, as I've seen kids who are products of rape struggle with being unwanted their entire lives, for no fault of their own. i can only attempt to imagine just how hard it is growing up as an unwanted child and of course it's easy for me to say, but it would be nice to be given a chance at life (and one day when the child grows up to be a beautiful human being, we can ask him/her if they'd rather have not been born.

ooh, btw i'm a wo-man...hehe.

desperate lady said...

babe there's something calld UPDATE

Ms. emmotions said...

hmmmmm, its funny how things turn out in this life, so beg and pray for pregnancy while on a platter of gold some get.....hmmmm the wisdom of God.

but u really were up for her real good, such maturity...

Sherri said...

@theafrobeat,
oops!
sister!
even better!
i hear u, a chance at life?
what kind of life? isn't life hard enough?

why did i think u were a man?(na assumption kill caesar)lol

@dl,
there is? lol
what's happening?

@ms emotions,
yep!
thanks for stopping by,
i will come visit u shortly

Sherri said...

@honeywell,
amen
thanks

Naapali said...

Sherri, I commend you for supporting and not judging your sister. It can be difficult to love unconditionally and also to convey that to our loved ones.

Sherri said...

@naapali,
as u know, it was a lesson learned the hard way.
thanks naapali