The allure of the ring

I recall watching with dismay as the females admired and goshed over the bride's ring. some compared sizes, cut,clarity and even managed to insult the unfortunate girls with "baby stones". i stayed nice and quite, or else, they will all conveniently misconstrue anything said as jealousy or worse. my crazement.

it made me realize why the bride's odeshios brother wud, from seeing the reactions to the ring wud conclude. it's every female's deep desire to have a ring from a man.

does the engagement ring really signify commitment? if so, how come males don't insist on engagements rings too?

my crazy mind only likens engagement rings to branding livestock. the glaring double standard is appalling, yet most females tend to ignore it. the male proposes with a ring, female accepts and happilly wears his ring to show the world she's snagged a man. the man on the other hand needs no ring to show the world his new status or does it not matter until he actually gets married?

what is the allure of the ring?
of course, i love rings they're my second fav accessories right after shoes
they're not accessories? like men?(silly me!)
how could we ascribe so much power to a piece of jewelry?
i have been told it confers rights and priviledges.does it really?

it grieves me to see females agonizing over not being married at a certain age.
i know, it's conditioning. but why wud any female not see how absurd it is?
it seems that most females just want to join the "mrs club" at all cost.

some put their lives on hold,curtail their aspirations, trade in their personalities, lower their standards,overlook serious character flaws, condone and tolerate abusive behaviour just to be marriageable!
why on earth do u want to marry a man who is threatened by ur intelligence and achievements? or a man who is not comfortable with ur independent nature? or worse, a man u can't be urself around?

by virtue of the design, the modern marriage is destined for failure from the very start. a female is sheltered and pampered her whole life,has everything provided by her parents, has no clue what a simple budget is, talkless of how to balance a checkbook, and yet this same female is married off and is expected to run a home successfully? talk about sink or swim!


i remember my mum's remark when i upgraded from a condo to a house.
here i was, thinking she'd be proud and excited, she first asked what was wrong with the condo. i told her nothing, other than the house was a better investment and more private. she looked around the entire house,then she said "so mo pe o le dan iru eleyi wo ni naija?" -u know u wud not dare try this in naija?
i didn' need to ask further to know she meant it was a taboo for a single female to own her own place or a nice car if she harbors any hopes of ever getting married. little did she know, despite not being in naija, there's no escaping naija. as i expected, some called me a snob for moving to the burbs and running away from people, even too oyinbo. the most surprising was hearing one of my girls, voice her concern about my banishment to singlehood hell for life cos now, men will feel like they have nothing to offer!(no, i didn't slap her)

come to find out later, she was partialy right! i couldn't for the life of me attract men who had nothing to offer, but i attracted one who had more than something to offer....Love

why can't some females understand that, they don't need a lot of suitors. just one suited for them, and how can u know who's suited for if u don't take the time to know urself and pursue ur own goals?

i have my reservations about the marriage institution, no surprises there, i hope.
is it ordained by God? really now? adam and eve were married? abraham and sarah? is it then safe to assume that concubines are part of God's plan for marriages? oh, i forgot! he changed his mind in the new testament.lol

please don't get me wrong, i believe in God, i even believe the bible is inspired by God. but i refuse to accept that a loving God wud ordain marriage as an instrument of oppression for females.

do i believe in marriage? if thats what a committed, mutually satisfying and loving relationship in which both partners are free to be themselves is called. yes ke!