ranting about polygamy

polygamy was successfully practiced world wide mainly for agricultural reasons. some other reasons were, to increase the chance of a surviving heir, economic and some other reasons mentioned by other commenter's.

my view
while not an advocate or supporter of polygamy, i strongly resent the hypocrisy of the west against polygamy.

at a lavish graduation party of three children of a prominent yoruba king last year seated with some oyinbo and Caribbean friends who had a field day expressing their shock and disgust about the acceptance of the practice, the kicker was the presence of another yoruba monarch with his three radiantly happy oloris wearing the same attire(one of them happens to be a friend of my mom)
anyhow,i held my tongue for as long as i could, but they were relentless!
u see there's a reason for my madness, here's a woman(the Caribbean) who's "baby father" is also baby father to two other women(that we know of)and from the looks of it, is still getting benefits from his baby mamas,the oyinbo girl is thrice divorced and now shacking with another dude, the other even tho he's male and married has never said anything positive about his marriage or his wife (he sees nothing wrong in being a"john")
so, i asked each one of them how what they are practicing is different from polygamy? or how it's better?
my African American friends had long ago accepted that the baby mama and baby daddy lifestyle rampant within their community is indeed a form of polygamy.

my point?
(i do have one)
i agree that ,the practice is outdated and no longer relevant for today, however, we need to understand that it served a purpose and is a foundation for today's monogamous marriages.
from my conversations with two women i have the utmost respect for who are in polygamous marriages, i gathered, that being strong, career driven and opinionated are detrimental to a naija woman's chance of finding a husband, because society dictates that men are superior and thereby need to have a woman that can reinforce this(that defies logic no be small! i would expect they would feel manly sparing with a bright and articulate mind)
after marrying their "ideal woman" and not finding the companionship/fulfilment/challenge that they crave, resort to playing around or polygamy to satisfy the crave.

one of the women insists it's a way for women to have their cake and eat it too.(not sure i subscribe) but i can plainly see that she's independent and in control of her life and she's truly happy even tho it's with a quarter of a husband (my opinion) maybe that's all that's needed.

the bottom line is we should appreciate and embrace our heritage and let it evolve to meet the needs of the present rather than accept the west's definition as the ideal (please! u don't want me going there!)


this was a comment i left on a post about polygamy on solomosydelle,s blog

Christmas romantic?

Christmas has always been very a festive season as far back as i can remember, but never ever been romantic.

since becoming an adult,i basically just go thru the motion of the season, not quite sure if it's the fact that i know it's unlikely to be the actual birth month of Jesus or it's proximity to the end of the year,or the commercialization of the season itself, it all just make me reflective and very melancholic.

but this year is very different, my1 and i went to all the usual Christmas/holiday parties just like last year but this year, i felt at home in the company of his friends and coworkers, i didn't get irritated to be part of a couple. i actually caught his bug (he loves Christmas, he insists it's a more romantic season than valentine) as we danced at the various parties he pointed out the love and romance in all the songs that i never paid any attention to before.

songs like mariah Carey's version of "all i want for Christmas is u" or boyz2men's "let it snow" or "it won't be christmas without u" or "i miss u most on Christmas time" or my favorite, CB's "this Christmas"

it was especially cute when he called one night during a snow storm singing "i don't care what the weather maybe, as long as u're here with me..
and when i asked what he wanted for Christmas, he broke into a song " babe, all i want for Christmas is uuuuuuu...

for the first time i helped him shop for gifts for his co workers, we decorated his house and mine together we even put up a tree! even tho i still don't get the significance of it.( it was fun putting the mistletoe to the test.. lol)

what is the problem?
the truth is, a couple of years ago i would have considered all these mushy and corny, the fact that i find them romantic now makes me wonder if im getting mellow in my old age o

anywhos,
i wish each and every one of u a merry Christmas may u all enjoy the beauty and romance of the season of the birth of our lord and savior

Still on my little man

he was out cold!(am that good! lol)
the only times he moved during the night was whenever i moved his foot away from my thigh.(he was fine as long as one foot was in contact with me)
i eventually gave in and let him have his way.

he must be a early riser, cos i was roused out of my sleep at about 7:30 by muffled voices; momsie trying to persuade him to let her give him a bath(he wanted auntie Sherri to do it)i swiftly threw the cover over my head and burrowed deeper into my warm bed...(auntie sherri ko, uncle sherri ni)

i was woken about two hours later by momsie, apparently, he let her give him a bath and dress him but refused to eat breakfast unless i made it.
momsie was afraid he was going to starve first reaction was "ebi ni o pa yeye"
(meaning: he'll eat when he gets hungry enough)
by now he was in my room too,on my bed with his arms around my neck hugging me to death.
him: i want you to make me breakfast!
me:why?
him:cos i want u to?
me:what's wrong with momsie?
him:nothing, i love you! (aw www)

before u could say jack rabbit! i was downstairs in the kitchen whipping up my world famous pancakes and sausages and eggs.

after polishing off 3 servings, he proudly announced "that was the best pancakes in the whole wide world!" thanks auntie Sherri!(of course, am grinning)

as we danced around the kitchen, (doing the victory dance) mr "my one" walks in(no, i wasn't expecting him o)
out of habit,he gives me a kiss (just the quick brush on the lips kind)we both glanced at the dude who was staring at us now, i make quick intro("my one", meet "my sugar lumps,love of my life, honey pie...")they give each other curious looks.

m1:where's momsie?
me: she's on the phone,?
m1:is she ready?
me: for wetin?
m1:she going to sista roli's
me:why are the one taking her?
m1:bro tj is working
me:wait a minute! she's supposed to be babysitting..( i stormed off in search of the agba babysitter)

FUNNY MOMENTS
i came back down to find my men duking it out on my Nintendo wii(cute)
so i joined them o,
as we played,my little dude, out of the blue asked,

auntie Sherri,can i sleep with u again tonight?
before i could answer, (my1 with an incredulous look on his face)
my1:u slept with my woman?! dude, u have some serious game o, care to share ur secret? i 'll pay top dollars.. (agbaya)

the poor boy didn't know what to say!lol

II
i left them to their game for my office/library in the basement,little dude comes running down,
him:uncle my1 wants u
me:(not feeling like going back up)tell him i want him u too
him:(halfway up the stairs, at the top of his lungs) auntie Sherri said, she wants u too!
momsie:awon agbaya meji! e sa ma diti omolomo

III
he came back down, he immediately asked if he can play with the package of golf balls i had on my desk, i told him they were not mine and to ask uncle my1 if he can play with them,
again, he went halfway up the stairs and yelled,
"uncle my1, can i play with ur balls? "(of course, i was on the floor laughing)

either momsie didn't get it, or she chose to ignore us cos she didn't say a word.

finally! man in my bed!

it's not what u think o



momsie agreed to babysit my cousin's 5yr old son for the weekend knowing fully well of my reservations.
so, i came home friday night to find the cute as a button dude whom i haven't seen since he was in diapers even tho i speak to him regularly on the phone .

as i walked in the door, he rushed to hug me (did i not read someplace that boys didn't display affection?)

before i could take my coat off, he insisted on showing me all the drawings and writings he had done with momsie, the dude wanted me to watch him draw all kind of funny looking figurines including one of me walking on stilts and carrying a suitcase on her wrist . lol

from the drawing we moved to the living room where he asked me all manner of questions about anything and everything!

him: how come u live all alone in this big house?

me: i like living alone

him:why?

me: i just do

him: how come u don't have any kids?

me: cos I'm not married (wrong answer!)

him: my mom's not married and she has a kid!

me: i know, emm emm.. here's a nice show! i will be right back

i quickly dashed up the stairs to my room.

later, i asked momsie when his bedtime was, she didn't know, will he be ok sleeping alone in the spare bedroom? (his mom didn't write down any instructions?)

momsie said we'll know when he's tired and if he can't sleep alone he can sleep with her (okay!)

eleven o clock came, momsie was fast asleep on the couch and the dude in his spiderman pajamas showed no sign of tiredness!

i announced it was bedtime, woke momsie up and we all went up the stairs, i put dude in the spare bedroom with the nitelight on and door open.

as i made to leave, he declared "we didn't pray! so we prayed o (the boy can pray!)

"father God, thank u for my mommy, my daddy, me, my auntie sherri, grandma and grandpa, mrs goldstein, all the poor children of the world, give us rest as we sleep thru the nite. in Jezuz name! amen" ( we hugged, and kissed goodnight)

i gingerly made my nightly cup of herb tea, ready to snuggled in bed with a book with the tv on as usual, my phone rings, it's oyin trying to get me to change my mind about going to some party that night ( after partying 2 nights back to back last weekend for my bday, i was looking forward to a weekend of vegging and nothing was going to change that)

as i finally i cozy up with my book and tv, dude bounded into my room asking " can i sleep with u? pleassssse?" (which kin wahala be this?)

within a matter of five minutes, dude was fast asleep!(thank God)

my feelings exactly

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful,
independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as
she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an
unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said, "Elegant
lady, I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch cast
a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn
back into the dapper, young Prince that I am, and then my
sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in my castle
with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my
clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and
happy doing so."

That night, on a meal of lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned
in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to
herself and thought, "I don't think so!"

7 weird things about me

as much as i absolutely detest tagging, chain letters and the likes, however, i will indulge Laspapi. (he tagged me)

here goes:


i} am appalled and yet intrigued by women who use their sexuality/sensuality to get what they want

ii} i have no phobias. my friends say am fearless (not a daredevil tho)

iii} i have zero patience/tolerance for incompetence and yet i often sympathise with the ignorant
iv} i relish spending time alone (preferably with a good book)
yes, i'm the weido u see at parties and gatherings with her nose in a book, after losing many books to unlawful seizures i now resort to going to the car to read when i get bored.

v} i cannot and will not use an unclean bathroom (i have held it for a whole day on numerous occasions) i just simply cannot go!

vi} people often mistake my being reserved as being aloof or arrogant

vii} i love to do the opposite of given instructions (never again in physics lab tho) lol


in the spirit of defiance and nonconformity i tag......no one